miracles happen

atari2600
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

A miracle happened in my life today.

I was driving home, after eating lunch. I had just finished a phone interview, and my mind was winding down from answering point blank questions about my college history, career goals, and where-I-see-myself-in-five-years type lingo. I was happily listening to Beck and enjoying the summer sun.

Then, the miracle happened. I saw, on the side of the road, a little table. This road is about a four lane, fairly busy vein of highway. The house was a little one story house, set back a good chunk from the road. What did I spot on the little table? An Atari 2600, amidst a scattered bunch of old junky electronics. I pulled into the driveway, and examined this treasure. There were about 20 vintage Atarti cartridge games, and two paddle controllers. I eagerly rang the doorbell of the little house.

"Yes?" A timid, rather intimidated looking elderly white woman in a night gown answered the door. She eyed me suspiciously.

"Ma'am, I see that you have an Atari from what looks like a yardsale. Still interested in selling it?"

"Well, I suppose. It's my grandson's."

My heart rate quickened. "How much would you take for it?"

"Well, honey, I don't know. 4 or 5 dollars."

4 or 5 dollars. I was having an out-of-body experience. I promptly handed her a $5 from my wallet, and thanked her for her time. I scooped up the Atari, the wires, the controllers, and the bag full of games, and plopped them into the passenger's seat of my wondrous hatchback.

You may not believe this, ladies and gentlemen, but the Atari actually works. I took it home, dusted it off, and was utterly stunned when it worked perfectly. My mother was just somewhat puzzled by my glee. But, learn this lesson: miracles do happen. Wondrous miracles. My Atari 2600 is living proof.

shopping is a feeling

davidbyrne2
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

You know him as the lead singer of 80's band The Talking Heads. But, David Byrne has gone on to do amazing things as a solo artist. He has a series of critically successful off-beat pop albums. Feelings, The Forest, Looking Into The Eyeball, and more recently, Grown Backwards just to name a few.

And, he even wrote and directed a feature film in the 80's called True Stories. It's one of my favorites, based on a Talking Heads album by the same name. It's a comedy, quite bizarre.

George Jones

georgejones3
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

Congratulations are in order for country singing legend George Jones. He recently celebrated 50 years in the music business. Also known as "The 'Ol Possum", and "No-Show Jones" ,(because he was notoriously absent for studio and concert appointments), George Jones has sealed a place in the halls of country legend alongside Johnny Cash and Dolly Parton.

If you're not familiar with his music, I recommend any one of the variety of "greatest hits" collections Jones has, and one of his most recent albums, The Cold Hard Truth. Every song on this album is a winner, my personal favorite being the title track. Another classic worth mentioning from this album is the song Choices. It's graceful, genuine, and beautiful. One of his classic hits, He Stopped Loving Her Today, was recently voted the #1 country song of all time.

His rich and grandpa-like voice grace the presence of many a sad tune. Lyrics of lost love, honky tonk, empty bars, and broken hearts accompany sad fiddles and whining steel guitars. Incredible.

Known for hard drinking and irresponsible revelry back in his prime, Jones sails gracefully into a senior legendary status as a bigger-than-life country icon. Congratulations, George!

An L.A. Daydream

I spend my days here in East Tennessee trying to balance a social life, a career search, and a family identity. Things sure have changed since the 'ol days of Los Angeles survival. I find my daydreams more and more frequently drifting to my times in L.A. Obscure memories are coming to the surface that tend to be forced to the back of my conscience. Most of them are about Universal Studios, since that's probably where I spent the most hours. However, so many other good and weird things happened.

Probably the second or third day I was in Studio City, my roommate Doug drove me down to his management office, called CA Talent. They weren't really "agents", so to speak. But, they basically were. They represented a great deal of people, and sent headshots and resumes out to various casting calls. Different casting directors would fax or email them little blurbs, describing what they needed, then CA Talent would send in the people right for the job. Then, if the casting directors for whatever shows liked some headshot CA Talent sent them, that actor would get called in for an audition.

Doug parked on the street, and we walked up to the gate and buzzed in. It was a little one story place, nice and clean. Very California style. Doug introduced me to a beautiful "young" woman, (don't remember her name), and she stretched a smile over her botox face. California actors are energetic, upbeat, and...unique. I loved it on one hand, but it could also be creepy.

I actually got to help them for an hour or so, reading blurbs, then sifting through files and files of headshots to find people who matched the descriptions. "casting call for: JAG We need a middle aged white man who's willing to shave his head to look military. SAG preferable. Must be staunch, very tough, and no taller than 5'8". Grizzly voice is better." Um...okay.

Then, a guy came in the office, an actor named Stan. I began talking to him about comedy and whatnot, and he had done some extra work on CSI and whatnot. It turns out that he's from Atlanta, and he had played Carson-Newman College in basketball. (Carson-Newman is my alma mater) Small world, huh?

Everyone has Favorites

The definition of a movie star has changed somewhat over the years. It seems to me that back in the "golden age" of Hollywood, movie stars like Cary Grant, Clark Gable, Doris Day, and Bela Lagousi were bigger-than-life royalty. With the advent of cable television, satellite television, movieplexes with 20 theaters, behind-the-scenes DVD features, and the internet, our culture is super-saturated and overexposed to media.

In the Jackass and reality tv era, where are the true "movie stars"? Even the term "movie star" has all but lost it's glamour in my book. Well, the true movie stars are still there. They're just somewhat overwhelmed with all other media images.

Here are my top five favorite (current) film actors. These are the ones who are the most compelling, most consistently good acting, and have the most "movie star" factor, in my opinion. They're not just "actors", but movie stars.
(These are just the males, I'll save the starlets for a different blog.)

5. Samuel L. Jackson
Okay, so maybe the new Shaft movie was sort of a flop. But, Samuel L. Jackson has proven himself over the years as a man who transcends "actor" status. With a legendary performance in Pulp Fiction, he became instant A-list. I don't think I've ever seen a Sam Jackson performance I didn't like. His aura is bigger than the silver screen. Remember Unbreakable, Coach Carter, Changing Lanes, and The Negotaitor? He also spread his talents to animated features with The Incredibles, and became a new pop culture icon in the new Star Wars films. Samuel L. Jackson is platinum.

4. Johnny Depp
When The Pirates of Caribbean launched Johnny Depp to a new level of platinum, he won critical acclaim and the hearts of so many moviegoers. The character of Captain Jack Sparrow has become something of a pop culture icon in and of itself. However, my love for Depp spans back to the days of Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood, and Blow. Depp has earned the label of being the outlaw movie star with the heart of a beatnik. But, those labels are true. Depp is an artist who has become one of the biggest movie stars alive by following his heart. You can't beat that. And, he's probably in the top three film actors of all time, in my book. He is in the same realm as Peter O'Toole, Marlon Brando, or James Dean.

3. Wilem DaFoe
Beginning his career in experimental improvisational groups, Wilem DaFoe developed a work eithic that drives him to do anything for his art. He is also an actor who brings to mind the word "imagination". His characters are distinct, bold, and DaFoe openly takes risks. His performance in Shadow of the Vampire is one of my favorites of all time. He was also born to play the Green Goblin in Spiderman. He continues to choose unique and fascinating films. He strikes me as the modern day Peter O'Toole. Eccentric, unique, and brilliant.

2. Bill Murray
This one is a no-brainer to me. Begining as a funny man in the early years of Saturday Night Live, Murray proved himself an endearing and lovable goofball. In recent years, however, he has gained the credibility he deserves for being a wonderful actor and a compelling screen presence. Ghostbusters, Scrooged, What About Bob?, Groundhog Day, Ed Wood, Charlie's Angels, and Wild Things were only the beginning. He has gained a whole new status in films like Rushmore, Royal Tenanbaums, Hamlet, and of course Lost In Translation. Lost In Translation is one of my favorite films, due in large part to Bill Murray. Want to see a fun-loving goofball? Watch What About Bob? Want to see brilliant and subtle technique? Watch Hamlet. Bill Murray is a platinum movie star.

1. Will Ferrell
This guy is one of the best. Don't be surprised if he earns Oscar recognition one day. How can every single word that comes out of someone's mouth be so honkin' hilarious? Whenever Ferrell is on the screen, I'm captivated and laughing incontrollably. Another Saturday Night Live alumni, he has successfully earned an A-list status. And, he's got the talent to last for many years. I look forward to watching him continue to make teriffic choices. I could list all his upcoming and current films, but you get the idea.

Honorable mentions: Tom Cruise, Al Pacino, and Robert DeNiro. I mean, come on.

impact

Since I began this blog, I have appreciated all the positive feedback from friends and family. I love writing in this blog, and I'm glad to see many friends also starting blogs. Upon moving to Hollywood, so many strange and exciting things happened that I knew I could never tell my friends the stories to do them justice. I also knew mass emails simply weren't enough. So, the blog has been a perfect outlet.

Recently, I wrote a blog about an actor I met named Doug Jones. Apparently, someone read the blog, and word reached Doug's publicist. Eventually, Doug Jones read the blog and loved it! I was told that he shed a single tear. I'm very thrilled that it could have an impact. So, I decided to make this post a mention of my favorite past blogs. Maybe you missed them, or would enjoy re-reading them.

1. Doug Jones

2. 2004

3. Groundlings classes

4. plight of the homeless

5. Emmy party

And, once upon a time, I asked the question which was the most rad: The sitcom Growing Pains, the movie Harry and the Hendersons, or the album Bad by Michael Jackson. It was a tie between Bad and Growing Pains. Three votes each.

Again, thank you for faithfully reading my blog, all 7 of you. *wink*

whacky world of extras

Getting your foot in the door in Hollywood is no easy task. There is also no exact formula for getting into the industry. There are many books and guides from “successful” people who give meaningful advice. One of the many methods of getting in the biz is by enlisting into the whacky world of extras. This means you can be in the background of television shows, feature films, and even music videos. And, entering this world is as simple as going to your local Hollywood extras casting center. You stand in line (on tuesday or thursday morning) with hundreds of other wannabe actors, fill out the paperwork, and get your photo taken in a DMV-style booth. Then, you’re in the system. There is a number you call daily to see what type of extras are needed for whatever projects. If you fit the description they’re looking for, you can call the number they give you and book a gig. Usually these gigs are one day, but can be three, or five days on average.

That’s where my old chum Benj enters the picture. He moved to Hollywood from Washington, and he took the extras universe by storm. American Dreams, Summerland,a
random Bruce Campbell Disney film, and several others. He has been on set with David Spade, Carmen Elektra, the mom from Full House, and many other lovely celebrities.

There is also quite a strange sub-culture of extras. These people tend to be cynical, and somewhat odd. My friend Benj actually encountered a group of motorcyclists who go to extra gigs as a group. (A group of motorcycling extras? Who knew?!?) Benj is my hero.

Unfortunately, I never booked anything through extras casting. I just didn’t have the drive. I tried to be a zombie in a low budget zombie film, but it didn’t work out. I had brushes with greatness, but I sadly never graced the big screen with my blurry obscured background face. I congratulate my friend Benj for his success.

If you want to see what I look like, just click here. Then, you can rate me a 10!

art philosophy? I love ted danson

The artist is a receptacle for the emotions that come from all over the place: from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing shape, from a spider's web. - Pablo Picasso

Some gaze at an obscure piece of modern art, and proclaim, "BRILLIANT!" There is legitimate passion in their appreciation. Not that I can even judge that. However, I observe their passion as an outsider. Don't get me wrong, I love art. But, many people instantly become disinterested upon the very mention of the word "art". However, I think that's an injustice to the word.

Art is anything that holds within it value of beauty or reflections of true feeling. It can be anything, really. But, you can see some things that claim to be art, but are undoubtedly not art. I can't define it, and any attempt to encapsulate that truth into a Webster's definition is a waste of time. I can only verbally hint at what I think of as art.

Just as one may observe an obscure sculptor in a stuffy museum and observe true art, there are other legitimate forms. A twelve year old watching Army of Darkness on a home theatre system can be equally engaged in an artistic endeavor, though motivated differently. I agree with C.S. Lewis that if art loses a certain pop culture appeal, then it has lost a certain sencerity.

All I know is what inpsires me. And, the things that inspire me are weird. I can't explain it. I try to rationalize, articulate, and justify it. But, I can't. I think Vincent Van Gogh was a brilliant artist. I think Mart Twain was a brilliant artist. I even love Russian novels, for crying out loud. But what I can't explain is that I think the latest Freaky Friday starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan is true art. The writing, the acting, the set design, the acting. I can't explain it. I don't think that all films are necessarily art, but that one is. I think some films actually qualify as poetry. They have a certain rhythm, and tone. They unfold and develop like John Keats, or something.

Check out Mark Ryden, for some interesting art philosophy.

Read some John Stuart Mill.

career quest

East Tennessee is kind of hot and humid today. I'm kind of hungry. I haven't eaten much today. Breakfast was a few bites of "original" flavor cream of wheat. Lunch was a grilled cheese sandwich and a few sips of tomato soup. Why soup on a hot day? I felt like it was pleasing to the stomach.

I have been searching for a full time job for almost two months now. The search is arduous, and so far unrewarding, and disappointing. No one told me that looking for a job was so strange or demanding. It's sort of like having a job, only you don't get paid and there is no reward, as of yet.

Job searching on the internet is interesting. It's a series of sorting through jobs that I don't want, I'm not qualified for, or they're too far away. I'm getting to the point of desperation where I am actually considering following up on a job lead in Jacksonville, Florida. Could there be a more deplorable place in the country to live? (Well, ok, Ohio.)

I have even begun applying at various Blockbusters in the area, in the attempt to do something different and begin getting a paycheck. Oh, man, this is no fun. However, free rentals would be nice.

a real thriller

michael jackson peace
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

I would like to begin this blog on a serious note. As many of you are aware, there is a terrible genocide happening in Darfur, Africa. If you want to learn more, click here to visit the official web site. They explain it in more detail and show how you can help. I encourage a financial donation. In the ultimate scheme of things, what's ten dollars? It could greatly impact the world for good.

Last night, I was dining in the classy Pizza Inn establishment in Jefferson City, Tennessee. My friend Joe and I were discussing the Micheal Jackson trial. Our friendly local waitress brought us some refills, and impulsively, I asked her, "Ma'am, do you think Michael Jackson is a robot?"

She huffed, and with mild disdain, replied "The fact that you even mentioned his name ruined my night." She was only half-joking, I imagine.

And, kids, I've fought this blog for a long time. I didn't want to mention Michael Jackson on my blog. However, I can't fight the forces anymore. Almost everyone I've spoken with has an opinion of the current molestation trial. Most people I've asked assume he's guilty. I would love to know how my blog readers feel about this trial, the media's behavior, and your feelings on Michael himself.

You see, I'm torn. I remember, as a kid, watching the "Bad" video on MTV. I'm all too familiar with the Thriller album and video. I like all his videos, in fact. I think Moonwalker is, on different levels, an astounding and creative artistic achievement. So, as someone who has appreciated Michael's music, dance moves, short films (or videos, or whatever you want to call them), I feel that I have a personal investment in what's happening with this Jackson trial. I suspect many people feel the same.

I want him to be innocent, but I have a deep disturbing feeling that there's too much circumstantial evidence for him to be totally clean. Even if he's found innocent in this trial, his bizarre image is mauled even more, permanently. At least, in my eyes. Please, feel free to comment your opinions. Be open and honest, because even admitting my admiration for MJ makes me feel awkward. Is there any separation anymore between his "art" and his public image?

Here is an exciting web site that follows the Jackson trial day by day. Thanks, E! Entertainment!

pearls to pigs

Recently, a new poem was discovered by playwright Tennessee Williams. At the time the poem was written, Williams was 25 years old, and still an undergraduate at Washington University. He wrote a play for an English class contest, which failed miserably. He was also failing his Greek course. The seventeen line poem, called "Blue Song", is about Williams' dispair.

This story resonates with me, and I find it oddly inspiring. So, here is some poetry directly inspired by Tennessee Williams' "Blue Song".

pearls to pigs
hours drift to days
like the haze of the morning fog
so deathly still
so mournful is the morning tree shadow
in the hills, their mystery remains
cold shadows remain
in the heart of one who gazes
gazing at transitional woes
troubling failures whispering consequences
staring at the walls
all the while
hours drift to days
like the afternoon clouds
drifting slowly like giant blimps against
blue sky in no hurry
clouds drift like hour hands on a clock

I wrote some poetry in an earlier blog called soul poetry, in case you missed it.

Doug Jones

Doug Jones
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

Artist
1.One, such as a painter, sculptor, or writer, who is able by virtue of imagination and talent or skill to create works
of aesthetic value, especially in the fine arts.
2.A person whose work shows exceptional creative ability or skill: You are an artist in the kitchen.
3.One, such as an actor or singer, who works in the performing arts.


I clearly remember the first time I met Doug Jones. My roommate and I met Doug for breakfast at a trendy L.A. cafe called The Aroma. I had only been in L.A. for three or four days, so meeting a real life working actor was a real treat. The only thing I knew about Doug before I met him was that he had been in a series of McDonald's
commercials in the 80's. (Remember the McDonald's commercial where that crescent-moon-head-guy plays the piano? That was Doug.) I had to think about the 80's commercial for a minute to remember it.

The Aroma is in Studio City, next to a quaint little residential neighborhood. (Quaint little suburban homes in Studio City are in the neighborhood of $500,000 to 3 or 4 $million). Anyhoo, we parked there on the curb for convenience. My first sight of Doug was the gangly 40 something man emerging from his brown 80's Porsche, a warm smile on his face and his arms wide open.He embraced me tightly, his soul bursting with love. It was instant destiny. I loved this man.

We sat, ate lunch, and laughed. Doug asked me about my goals in Hollywood, and he told me a bit of his legacy. To my delight, I learned that he had been in a string of 80's horror films. He was in Night Angel and NewlyDeads just to name a couple. Doug has a niche in the science fiction film market. He usually plays ghouls, monsters, or alien creatures. Think that's a bad thing? He's actually my hero. He's quite a contortionist. He has a whacky imagination, and he can adapt to almost any role.

I was also delighted to learn that Doug has been under Tim Burton in the film Batman Returns. He has parts in Adaptation, Mystery Men, and was in a number of sketches on In Living Color. He's also Abe Sapien in Hellboy. He would probably be embarassed if he read this, because he's very humble. He works consistently, and I'm constantly learning new projects he played a part in. It may be in poor taste for me to recite part of his resume, but I feel oddly connected to Doug. I appreciate his quirky style, and his optimistic work ethic.

I went to a party at a friend's house. Her name is Hunter. I wish I could tell you how gorgeous (she) and her house are. When I first went there, Doug gave me a piggy-back tour of the whole place. I love making Doug laugh, and he also seems to crack me up most of the time. In the get-togethers, he is gracious enough to invite groups of struggling twenty-somethings to socialize, and get connected in such a disconnected society. We watched short films, ate, laughed, and had terrific times. Doug's wife is an angel.

Being an artist seems like an elusive thing to me. Someone can paint a tree on a canvas, but they're not necessarily an artist. An artist, to me, is someone who creates things that I feel a connection to. There may be something subconscious, or emotional that creates a kinship. I feel that the title "artist" is handed out far too loosely in our pop culture. To me, an artist is genuinely inspiring, and inspired themselves. They create because they are creative. They have something to say, with art. And, you feel that magic. To me, Doug Jones is truly an artist.
He's creative, and he's brimming with sincere love and humility. I appreciate that he reached out to me and shared some adventure with me in Los Angeles.

a second chance

A few weeks ago, I saw a film called "Sideways" and wrote a review of it, of sorts, on this site. I was quite harsh on it, calling it "mediocre schlock", stating that these characters were broken and empty. And, this is exactly the kind of trash Hollywood loves to shower with critical praise. (As if "Hollywood" is a person.) Well, I have to say, I saw this film again a couple of nights ago, and my opinion has shifted. Maybe I was too hard on it.

Upon a second viewing, I realize that the characters are endearing. They are broken. But, that's how real people are. The second time around, I didn't take the characters so seriously. That was my mistake the first time. I think I took the characters too seriously because the acting is so good. And, the writing is good. But, if you remember that it's all for play-pretend, it's not so offensive. And, it's hilarious in places. I laughed out loud multiple times. In fact, I bought it on DVD. I've never flip-flopped on a film like this. But, the packaging is beautiful and the extra features are great. Check it out, but remember: Don't take it too seriously.

Guero

beck make-up
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

It's hard to believe that Beck is 34 years old now. It's tough to believe that Beck's first big hit, "Loser", was over ten years ago. That song put him on the map, and made me a fan.

The appeal of Beck for me is found on albums such as "Mellow Gold", "One Foot in the Grave", and "Stereopathetic Soulmanure". Parts (or most) of these albums sound like Beck dug a guitar out of the trash can and recorded an album on a run-down cassette tape. There are bizarre sound effects, dialouge, and trippy musical twists. Lyrically, he's hilarious and visual.He's got a great mellow voice, and dance moves that will wake the dead.

Overall, "Odelay" is probably the most solid Beck album. It showcases almost the full range of his creativity, and style. The Dust Brothers transformed Odelay from an acoustic exploration into a beatbox deejay 70's/80's explosion. If you're not very familiar with Beck, I recommend "Odelay" as the perfect introduction.

It's also important to understand that every Beck album is completely different. Creatively ambitious, you never know which direction Beck will go with his sound.

The "Guero" album comes in the wake of the "Midnite Vultures" dance album, and the dark "Sea Change" soul exploration. Going back to the Dust Brothers, "Guero" has a similar sound to "Odelay." However, the tone is more consistent than "Odelay" throughout the album. Rather than covering the whole genre map, Beck sticks closer to a mid-tempo, blues/rock vibe. But, it is unfair to try to categorize it.

Influenced by life in L.A., the title track, "Que Ondo Guero", the song opens with rapid lyrical descriptions of Hispanic and homeless men. There is vague Hispanic dialouge happening in the background, behind the "Odelay"-style beat.

Lyrically, "Guero" is looser than "Odelay." Beck seems to be addressing deeper, more adult feelings of life. He still retains the appeal of an artist taking chances and exploring new ideas. As cheesey as it sounds, "Guero" says to me, "Hey, I'm Beck. I'm 34. This is where I am right now in life." And, I love it.

Beck

beck
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

I may not be much with my book learnin' or rithmatic, but I know a few things. One of those things is that one of my favorite artists on the planet is Beck. His new album comes out tuesday, March 29. It's called "Guero". I haven't heard any of it, but I'm going to be in the store early to grab my copy. If you've never heard Beck, you should check him out on AllMusic.com.

He also has an official web site, just click here.

One of Beck's favorite web site is a site called slow wave. You can submit dreams you've had, and artists will illustrate it.

Quakers really know how to party

I grew up Baptist. I still consider myself Baptist, although my faith within that Baptist context is an organic journey. I crave constant growth and expansion, spiritually. I think on some levels, everyone does.
In college I had an assignment to go to a church that was a different denomination for a Christian History class. I went to a Greek Orthodox church. It was quite a strange and incredible experience that changed my life. I can blog that later. That got the proverbial ball rolling. I began exploring other denominations, and visiting other churches. On paper, I knew myself to be partly Quaker. My beliefs line up with a conservative Quaker view, for the most part. There’s an amazing test you can take on beliefnet.com. You take the Belief-O-Matic test, and it tells you what religious/spiritual belief you most closely align with. After taking the test, I aligned mostly with the Quaker faith.
Not having studied Quakers much, I sort of took a crash course. One of my professors, Dr. Lee, is a Quaker. I went to his meeting house, and it was an incredible experience.
Without explaining too much Quaker history, here is modern Quaker belief in a nutshell: since all Christians are equal through the Holy Spirit, there are no appointed "pastors" or whatnot. Every Christian is supposed to lift each other up in a communal way, without relying too much on a ceremonial or elevated person. Definitely, natural leadership abilities and talents will rise to the surface, and people will take their natural places in society. That’s the idea. A Quaker meeting is not referred to as a "service" in most cases. It’s a meeting. Quakers are also known as the Society of Friends. When they meet on sunday, rather than having a program, music, singing, sermon, or ceremony, they do quite the opposite. They sit in total quiet. It is a time of communal meditation. Anyone can speak, if they feel lead to speak. But otherwise, everyone meditates in total silence. In the Quaker meeting I was in, the room was almost all windows. There was a beautiful panoramic view of the lush green woods. There were skylights, and a gentle cieling fan clicking quietly. Everyone, as their name implies, was genuinely friendly. I was with three or four friends. The seats were arranged in a square fashion, with everyone facing each other.
As we first entered the meeting, I was apprehensive and awkward about sitting still in front of everyone. However, the Quaker Friends at the meeting were long time experieced Quakers, so they didn’t take special notice to us. Some had their eyes closed. Some not. Some were teenagers, some old. Once you enter the room, you must maintain the silence, unless lead to speak. At first, I was distracted and thinking of my surroundings. However, it didn’t take long to enter a deep and genuine state of meditation. God spoke to me in an incredibly deep way during that silence. It’s one thing to be alone, but there’s a wonderful power when you’re meditating with a group of people. There’s a certain energy.
The time drifted and, as cliche as it sounds, seemed to stop. Observing nature, and listening to the inner Spirit, I honestly honed my focus. It was amazing. About 45 minutes or so into it, a woman in the corner suddenly began speaking. She said she had a garden, and she had been trying to make a certain plant grow. It kept being overrun by weeds. She kept trying to pull all the weeds, but they kept overtaking her. Eventually, she gave up and let the weeds grow. When they bloomed, they were an astonishing and beautiful bud. She looked it up in one of her flower books, and found that it was a rare type of plant. She used that as a lesson that God has better plans than we do. Amazing.
The Quaker experience was incredible, and I wish this blog did it justice. If you want to learn more, you can go to beliefnet.com and take the test for yourself.

A Rose by any other name...is still a weird story

Working at Universal studios gave me a unique opportunity too meet interesting and diverse people. Through one of the girls at Starbucks, I got to meet her boyfriend, the lead singer of Green Jelly. There are probably only 17 people in the country who would care about that. For me, it was exciting.

As anyone who knows me knows, I'm a huge hit with the ladies. Sometimes I even shock myself with how awesome I am. Um...or, not. I get delusional.

I don't know how to be "smooth" with the ladies. I see other guys with the lines, and the cologne, and the "right stuff." I don't know how any of that works. I'm just a simple guy who wants a relationship. Is it ever that simple? Nope.

Universal is where I met Rose. She worked outside the movie theater, selling this movie/dinner deal. There are two requirements for this job: you have to be female, and attractive. No skinny white nerds. I think Rose was from Puerto Rico, or Venezuela, or something. But, she was very beautiful, and to my surprise, friendly. She had a nice smile, and she turned a lot of heads. I was happy to learn that she had a college degree, and she wanted to be a lawyer. That made her even more attractive to me. I began talking to her, (and all the other girls who worked outside the movie theater). It didn't take long before I realized I was interested in this young lady. Why not ask her out, right?

After seeing her on multiple occassions, mostly while "working", I decided the moment was at hand. Rose's friend was my relationshp liason, and a little devil on my shoulder. She kept telling me to ask Rose out, she would go for it. So, one day, the moment of truth arrived. I felt like a nervous 16 year old dork asking a girl to a school dance, or something. My palms were sweaty. I walked over to Rose, where she was "working." (By working, I mean standing outside the theater one afternoon, bored.) and I started some mindless chit chat. I tried to organically move the conversation toward me asking her out, but it didn't happen. I was running short on time, and I knew I had to act fast. So, I began stammering. "Um,...you know,...I was just wondering, since we only see each other at work,...there's this place...could eat lunch,...or..."

It was the most awkward moment of my life. She was clearly uncomfortable. She tripped over her words nervously as she replied. "Um...I have to check my schedule. So,..I don't know."

Check her schedule?!? I walked away in humiliation. That line, "check my schedule", is worse than "I have to wash my hair." That's awful! So, in my embarassment, I walked away in defeat. I guess there's no such thing as a sure thing.

In the days following, I prayed that I wouldn't see Rose at work. I was afraid it would be far too humiliating. One afternoon, my relationship liason, Rose's friend, approached me.

"Evan! Rose was really happy you asked her out the other day. She said she wishes you'd been more confident, though. She really did have to check her schedule."

What?!?

"I think if you ask her out, she would definitely go with you. You just have to be more confident."

Um...okay. So, it wasn't just a line? Well, I guess that was good news, at the time. It's what I wanted to hear. So, the next time I saw Rose at work, I quickly approached her.

"Hi, Rose. So,...I know things were somewhat off-track the other day. It's just that, well, since you don't work tomorrow, we should have lunch."

"Um...I already told some friends of mine that I would have lunch with them. Sorry."

"What about the next day?"

"Oh,...um,...I'm busy. Sorry."

Shot down. Twice. That's miserable.
A few days later I flew to Tennessee for a wedding, and when I came back to L.A., Rose had quit her job. So, I guess I'll never see her again. It's probably for the best, though.

Plus, one time I saw Drew Carey at Bob's Big Boy.

rad contest

Ladies and gentlemen, earlier I posted a blog called most rad. I asked anyone to vote for which of the following was the most rad:

Michael Jackson - Bad album

Growing Pains - sitcom

Harry and the Hendersons - delightful family/comedy movie

So far, I've got two votes for Growing Pains, and 0 for anything else. I can see it, though. Kirk Cameron is amazing, and I saw Alan Thicke (Dad on Growing Pains) on Celebrity Fear Factor tonight. I love hokey sitcoms. It's tough to compete.

But, don't forget, Michael Jackson's Bad album contains such hits as "Bad", "Smooth Criminal", and "Man in the Mirror". It was also the time when Mike busted out the black leather outfit. Martin Scorsese directed the "Bad" video. It was definitely the late 80's, in full force. Scary.

Harry and the Hendersons still has cheese-ball appeal, and low budget acting legend John Lithgow. And don't forget character actor, Emmet Walsh. He was kind of a friendlier John Voight. And then, of course, we have Big Foot himself, Harry.

So far: Bad - 0 Growing Pains - 2 H and the H - 0

It's still anybody's game. If you want to vote, leave it in the comment, or email me.

mediocre schlock

I can now say (somewhat proudly) that I have seen all the Oscar nominated films for Best Picture. All the ones I had seen were teriffic. There were only two on the list that I probably would not have seen without Oscar exposure. Million Dollar Baby I might have seen, but I'm not sure. The one film I definitely would not have seen, or probably even heard of, is Sideways. It looked like a really interesting film based on all the buzz. And, the fact that it was nominated for five Academy Awards, including Best Adapted Screenplay, and Best Picture, really sparked my interest. So, yesterday I went a little out of my way to take a chance on a film I would not have seen otherwise. My reaction was clear.
In the past few years, there have been a few controversial picks for Best Picture, like Gladiator and Erin Brokovich. Some of these movies just don't seem to have what it takes to actually be Best Picture. And, of course, some films that should get acknowledgement are overlooked.

Sideways is terrible. I guess Thomas Haden Church's performance is worthy, or whatever, but I don't fully understand the Oscar love. I think it's simply Hollywood trying to make a point by proving that they have a keen eye for indie films, or something. To me, this is a dark film about broken empty lives sinking even deeper into disaster and loss. It has the kind of bleak outlook on life that many critically acclaimed indies have. It's a gritty "realistic" style that appeals to Hollywood types. However, the nomination of this film is just proof that Hollywood has a cynical artsy perspective of life. I felt so drained when I walked out of the theater, I wanted to purify myself of such a sad experience. So, I drank RC cola and listened to Michael Jackson. Hey, it doesn't work for everyone, but it did wonders for me.
I mean, I can understand the acting acknowledgements. I really can appreciate it. But, the writing didn't seem that great, and Best Picture? Um, no. And I know what you're thinking at this point: "Evan, you're obsessed with this Oscar thing. What's the big deal?" My answer, is, I dunno. I think it's just that the Oscars sort of objectify what Hollywood stands for. These are the films, and the people, that Hollywood chooses to bestow importance upon. But, not everyone in Hollywood agrees with the Oscars. And, the American public certainly doesn't. That's why movies like Dude Where's My Car, and Old School get made. Not that these are bad, or that Oscar films are wholly superior. I just think the Oscars are, or should be, somewhat of a reflection of American pop culture. What do we value? What do we say is important? One thing The Passion of the Christ taught me is that many good and valuable films transcend the importance of having awards. And, I learned the same lesson when a yuppie nightmare film like Sideways was so highly praised.
All the other Best Picture nominations were great, even though Million Dollar Baby was bleak, too. It didn't seem as dreary as Sideways, though. Anyway, all the other ones are great. So, I don't know why Sideways is so bad. But, this is probably all I'll have to say about the Oscars this year. I'm done. I can return to regularly scheduled programming after this.

the net

Ever feel "out of the loop"? Don't trust biased News sources? Ever feel like you don't exactly know what President W is up to? I know the feeling. I found a terrific government web site, White House.gov. It keeps you up to date on what the President, and the White House, is doing every single day! It's cool. I particularly like the Press Briefings you can read.

Are you a music junkie? Feel like you want to get plugged in to new kinds of music? I discovered an incredible site called All Music. When they say "all music", they really mean it. You can look up any genre, any mood, any style. They have chart history, album discographies, and reviews. I also particularly like the "mood" descriptions they give for each artist and/or band.

I found an average site about poetry. Here's a poem by John Keats.

This Living Hand
This living hand, now warm and capable
Of earnest grasping, would, if it were cold
And in the icy silence of the tomb,
So haunt thy days and chill thy dreaming nights
That thou wouldst wish thine own heart dry of blood
So in my veins red life might stream again,
And thou be conscience-calmed--see here it is--
I hold it towards you.

I told you so!

Hmmm. I hate to say "I told you so", but...I TOLD YOU SO!!!

Last night I had the joy of watching the 77th Annual Academy Awards, and it was a special year for a few different reasons. First, after spending a year in Hollywood, I'm closer to that culture than ever before. This is also the first year when I ever predicted ALL the RIGHT acting awards! HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW??? Last year, I had Sean Penn and Tim Robbins pegged for their acting awards, but I wasn't sure about the actresses. This year, I got ALL the acting awards, and I had Clint Eastwood as Best Director. There was only one award of the entire night where I felt a sting of disappointment. It was the "Best Picture" award. I honestly hoped it was The Aviator's night. However, Million Dollar Baby was my second guess for winner. Who did I think DESERVED Best Picture? The Aviator, then Ray in second place, then Million Dollar Baby. What can I say? It's kind of subjective.

Since I guessed ALL the acting awards ,(Did I mention I got ALL of them right, plus BEST DIRECTOR??) Well, I DID! Since I got them right this year, I think that gives me a little credibility in that department. So, I've compiled a little list of some of my favorite performances. It's my own little "Oscar-worthy" list. Some of these performances were nominated or actually won, some didn't. But, they're all admirable and awesome in their own rights.


Martin Landau as Bela Legousi in the movie Ed Wood
Awesome.

Jack Lemmon as Shelley Levene in the movie Glengarry Glen Ross
Poor Shelley Levene is as shady as they come in the salesmen world. With his washed-up sales tactics, and final frayed hopes, he desperately tries to piece his life back together. So believable, so sad. So very brilliant.

Willem DaFoe as Max Schreck in the movie Shadow of the Vampire
A bold and unique performance. Willem DaFoe is one of my favorite actors, and this performance is one of his best. It showcases his creativity and attention to detail in his characters. I think he may actually be a vampire!

Richard Farnsworth as Alvin Straight in the movie The Straight Story
Great movie, one of my favorite performances of all time.

Johnny Depp in the movies Edward Scissorhands, Secret Window, Ed Wood, and Blow.
Yeah. He's platinum.

Halle Berry as Leticia Musgrove in the movie Monster's Ball
okay, I don't like the movie that much overall, but Halle....whoa.

Judy Garland as Dorothy Gale in the movie The Wizard of Oz
One of the greatest and most memorable characters, right? She was born to do it. And, the movie is one of the best ever made. So creative, so wonderful.

Samuel L. Jackson as Jules Winnfield in the movie Pulp Fiction
I am born anew in his genius. Is he even "acting"? Nope. He's doing what an actor is supposed to do. He's just "being" the character. A truly inspired performance.

And FINALLY....(drum roll)....

Corey Feldman as Edgar Frog in the movie The Lost Boys
Simply hilarious. I had to put a funny one on here. I love, love, love this movie, though.

That's it for today. Peace out. That is, of course, if anyone is actually reading this.

pop

I've had a fabulous weekend. Friday night didn't quite turn out how we planned it. I was going to visit my friends Tim and Jessie in a magical town called Jefferson City, Tennessee. We were going to go with Ashleigh and her boyfriend to a senior (singing) recital on our alma matter campus. Ashleigh was driving up from Atlanta, and the recital started at 7:30. I haven't quite done the math to figure out exactly how she expected to get here on time. Anyhoo, she was in a wreck, and didn't get to Jeff City until around 9:30. We ate (at a restaurant I was once fired from) then went back to Tim and Jessie's apartment for a few laughs and good times. We stayed the night, and ate pancakes the next morning. Their apartment is amazing because it's literally in a cow field.

With the Academy Awards mere hours away, I finally got to see Ray last night. It was playing in this low budget movie theater on the other side of town, for $1.50. I was invited to a party celebrating the life of Hunter S. Thompson, but I wanted to experience Ray before the Oscar ceremony. It is truly incredible. It's gritty, dramatic, colorful, inspiring, and brilliant. It solidified my prediction that Jamie Foxx deserves, and will probably win Best Actor. Ray is a terrific film about art, fighting for your life, and struggling to make your way in this world. If you haven't seen it, you must.

Just to recap my Oscar predictions/hopes: Jamie Foxx for Best Actor, Hillary Swank for Best Actress, Cate Blanchett for Best Supporting Actress, Morgan Freeman for Best Suporting Actor, Clint Eastwood for Best Director, and The Aviator for Best Picture. These are all really just predictions. I have no clue who is actually going to win any of these.

With the Michael Jackson trial almost under way, the circus has already started. Fans waiting outside the courthouse for Jackson's arrival, trips to the hospital for the "flu", and bizarre celebrity testimonies. I have to admit, I'm a fan of Michael's music. I want him to be innocent, but I know deep down he's probably guilty. [insert Michael Jackson joke here]

Speaking of pop stars, I'm totally addicted to American Idol. This has been the most dramatic and most dynamic of the three prior seasons. As the competition has reached the final 22, the talent is unbelievable. Almost any of these people could have won the first American Idol. They've also made an interesting choice to allow two "rocker guys" into the final rounds. Interesting competition. My favorites are Carrie Underwood and Nikko Smith. But, we have about a month or so before we begin to see who might win.

I went to a temp agency the other day. This is the first time I've really pursued a non-acting related job in a long, long time. It's a strange feeling to be back among the "civilian sector" of society. I'm hoping God is leading me down this path, and will ultimately lead me back to my art. Sometimes He gives us a vision, but we don't quite know exactly how to get there.

That's my pop culture update for today. If you have any opinions or comments, please feel free to let me (and everyone else) know! Peace out.

Chris and Ray

Chris and Ray
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is my friend Ray. He was in one of my Groundlings classes, and he does stand-up comedy. He's been working consistently at "The Comedy Store" for a while, and his popularity seems to be growing. He shot a mass email my way saying he did a show the other night, and things went really well. Chris Rock closed out the show, unexpextedly. My experiences at the Comedy Store haven't been quite as positive, which you can read about here on my blog. Regretably, I never got the chance to see Ray do stand-up while I lived in California.
Even though I only worked with Ray for a couple of months in the class, I'm still oddly proud of him because I know how hard he works. He's very talented. Also, I know the high level of struggle. I wish Ray the best, and I hope his popularity and success continue.

closing this chapter

My life has reached an interesting Howard Hughes-like status. I live with my parents here in Knoxville, Tennessee. I just moved here from Hollywood about three weeks ago. It was a long and arduous journey across the country in my small CRX.
I am brought to a point of reflection on the last year of my life, and what it has meant to me. I'll never forget my first night in Studio City. I came into the apartment about 8:30 that night, and Doug gave me the grand tour. There were books, a desk, a spiral staircase, and piles and piles of other peoples' lives. I was to make this place my home.I remember sleeping on the leather couch that night, and the next morning I went for a walk. I walked down Ventura Boulevard and soaked in the sights. We were at the foot of the Hollywood hills, and the culture was quite different than Tennessee. I was also overwhelmed by the odd rocky California terrain. The sun was shining down a friendly warmth. The sky was so deeply blue that day. I spoke with my dad on the phone quite a while, trying to describe L.A. I was getting the picture that he had no idea. It's still nearly impossible to describe.
I remember standing on the Churro cart on CityWalk at Universal. The air was fresh and warm, and the crowds just didn't stop. I remember the saturday afternoon they had a birthday celebration for Shaquille O'Neil, and he waved to the crowd from a giant crane. Then, Ruben Studdard came out and sang happy birthday.
I'll never forget the faces and personalities that I befriended there. There was such a colorful and diverse array of people I encountered. I'll never forget visitng some Australian college girls down in Hollywood, along with some other people from work. Talk about weird. I'll probably never see any of those people for the rest of my life.
I'll never forget the fake Michael Jackson sighting I had up at Universal. I was so excited that it might really be him, but of course it was an impersonator.
The sights, the smells, the California sun are all fading memories to me now. I get occassional e-mails from friends I made there, but it's not the same. I'll never forget waking up every morning next to a window that looked out into a grundgy alley next to our apartment building.
I'll never forget Doug Jones, who brought encouragement and inspiration just by being a friend.
I may never gaze up at the Hollywood sign again, but the memories are going to stay in my mind forever. The friends, experiences, and bizarre encounters will ultimately reveal their purpose. I may never be Ted Danson, but the person I've become in the process is something no one can take away. As I drove away with California in my rearview mirror, I looked to the excitement over the next hill. I knew that fresh inspiration awaited me,...just a little while longer.
I'll never forget sharing financial woes with my friend Travis. He only lived a few minutes away in North Hollywood. We were both overwhelmed by our surroundings. He introduced me to the North Hollywood diner, and Shepherd of the Hills church. Travis has since moved back to Alabama, and I fully support him. We both dove into the L.A. experience blindly hoping to find a new life. We had the bar high, and our expectations unfulfilled. The day to day financial struggle proved to be ultimately too much, for both of us.
My friend Ward soldiers on in L.A., doing successful wardrobe work all over the country. His destiny still lies in tinsel town, for now.
My friend Doug Jones continues to work and live consistently as an actor. He told me in an e-mail, after I moved back, that if his job didn't require him to live in L.A., then he and his wife would have moved back to Indiana years ago.
My roommates Doug and Andy continue living the life of aspiring actors. Taking workshops, classes, and anything they can get their hands on, they continue to network and move forward.
As for me, my destiny was something different. I found my destiny in the open plains of New Mexico, rising from a flat brown earth. I found my destiny gazing out at the surreal Grand Canyon panorama. An elderly black man in an Arby's somewhere in Arkansas, asking for bus fare. The glitz and flash of Las Vegas; the open road; an empty motel room late at night. These are the places I've called home. My body rising and continuing my journey of life, I've found a home with my family, and old friends who welcome me with open arms. Moving into an unknown future, I take one step at a time, discovering what's in store. In the hills of East Tennessee, I find my place again. Like a puzzle piece going back to its proper place in the picture, my life is coming back together. There are things I will have to repair, and other things I'll have to adjust. But eventually, my life will take shape again. The blur of images from Hollywood will take their place in the background of my life, and each day will continue to bring change.

most rad

I hereby put forth to you this important question:

Which of the following is the most rad?

1.album Bad - Michael Jackson

2.movie Harry and the Hendersons

3.sitcom Growing Pains

When you submit your answers in the comments, I will tally up the answers and determine the winner.

morbid statue

morbid statue
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

Since I didn't have any pictures on here, I thought I'd give you this one. This is a rather morbid statue of some kind of elk being mauled by domestic dogs. I suppose everyone has their own taste in art.

Clint Eastwood

Last year, I saw Mystic River. If you're not familiar with it, it's a suspense/mystery directed by Clint Eastwood. Sean Penn won an Oscar for best Actor, and Tim Robbins won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. Both awards I totally agree with. I walked out of the theatre that cold rainy LA night almost numb with what I had just experienced. It's an incredible film. I was truly awed by Clint Eastwood's craftsmanship and artistry. Mystic River was also nominated for Best Picture, which I knew it wouldn't win. Not with Lord of the Rings in the running, anyway.

This year, Clint Eastwood directed, partly produced, and...,get this; he actually composed the music for a film called Million Dollar Baby. I saw this with some friends a few nights ago. There are similarities in the look and style between Million Dollar Baby and Mystic River. Clint Eastwood is the lead actor in Million Dollar Baby. Once again, his performance awed me with his talent. As a director, Clint Eastwood is emotional and reflective. Million Dollar Baby uses shading and darkness in interesting ways. It really pulls you into the story. Just like Hillary Swank's character in the film, Million Dollar Baby itself is a contender to be the champion. However, I think Ray will snuff it out. I would also guess that Jamie Foxx will win Best Actor for Ray before Clint Eastwood wins Best Actor for Million Dollar Baby. Foxx probably deserves it.

I would also like to say a word about Morgan Freeman in Million Dollar Baby. I have a special feeling about Alan Alda, but Morgan Freeman may also win Best Supporting Actor. It will be one of the two, hopefully. I love Morgan Freeman, and he is such a compelling actor. He's been nominated a handful of times before, but I really hope this is his year. Click here to check it out.

Hillary Swank is also my favorite contender for Best Actress for Million Dollar Baby.

All that being said, I also want to clarify that any Academy Award acknowledgement is subjective to a degree. It does mean a lot, but it's not everything. Even if Morgan Freeman doesn't win an Oscar, his performance is still incredible. Clint Eastwood is still a brilliant and crafty director with or without a little statue. Million Dollar Baby isn't perfect, but it's still a great film. Clint Eastwood has integrity as a director that I really admire.

soul poetry

rainbow clown
deep down behind that smile
crevise of that white red mouth
the glow of soul beyond children
laughter envokes sad images
we try to hide
by way of rainbow clown


try to tell me again
i didn't hear you that time
mouth movement
say it again
it's too loud in here
something important
something very important

closed eyes yield expression
wrinkled eyes
move shuffle
click and tap
movement
bam wooden floor
sing it sing it sing it

the square is white
the white square light
against the wall
night is late
and the place is full
of noise and body
mumble jumble noise voices make
smoke in the room
this place i'm told is really cool
and it's very loud and dark in here

shortcuts i'm taking
shortcut career mistake
made late at night
under my roof in a dirty bed
made with pillow and fluff nonsense
not quite not quite no not quite

no sense in answering the phone
just let it ring ring ring ring ring
no answering machine
no one ever answers our black phone

deep in the night the palm trees
palm tree against black sky
helicopter light noise
road is a city
hear the sirens some more
starbucks is open
coffee expensive trend glasses
make me mercedes dream with palm trees and coffee
make it happen make it happen make it happen
make me happen
so i can be legitimate

punch me sideways
make me love dogs
i know no one this side of the city
too many cars
too fast much noise road happening right now
too lonely
make it go now

homework

Sorry, folks, but this blog may require you to do some homework. If you're like me, you're done with school and you hate homework. However, this homework is fun. I was on imdb (international movie database) recently, and I started trying to compile a list of my favorite all-time movies. I love movies, so this was pretty much impossible. However, in the process, I was reminded of some old goodies that I would like to recommend to you. These are films that may be somewhat obscure, and maybe you missed them. Some you've probably seen some vague time in the past, but didn't pay much attention to. Well, I'd like to recommend these because they're interesting, somewhat overlooked, and because I love them so much.

Glengarry Glen Ross

What do you get when you cross playwright David Mamet with actors like Jack Lemon, Ed Harris, Al Pacino, Alen Arkin, Kevin Spacey, and Alec Baldwin? Great writing and wonderful acting. Those are the two elements that drew me to this movie. With an all-star cast like this, the movie pulls you in from the first minute.

The premise is, these washed up salesmen have to sell a certain amount of real estate in a certain amount of time, or they're fired. They work for the same floundering real estate company, and they're mostly past their prime. David Mamet has a good sense of these characters, so you really connect with them. I empathize with all of them and their individual state in life. You should check out this weird little movie with lots of drama, enthralling writing, and classic acting.

Ed Wood

Directed by Tim Burton, this is my favorite of his films. Starring Johnny Depp, Martin Landau, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Bill Murray, it also has an incredible cast. Martin Landau's performance as Bela Lagousi is one of my favorite all time performances in any movie. He won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for Ed Wood. Johnny Depp is great, too.

This is based on the true story of horrible filmmaker Ed Wood. Ed Wood has a fan club, and was rated "Worst Director of All Time". The movie, of course, is hilarious as it recounts his problems with making his dream movies in the 50's. It has some really funny moments. I don't want to be too specific, because I don't want to ruin it, or something. You should check this movie out. They just released a Special Edition DVD with lots of great behind-the-scenes extras and whatnot.

P.S. - It's in black and white, but that makes it strangely better.

The Straight Story

David Lynch directed this wonderful movie, also based on a true story. This movie makes me cry just about every time. There's a certain life that Richard Farnsworth gives to his character, Alvin Straight. It's an ancient wisdom mixed with human frailty that gives this character so much depth. It's no wonder that Richard Farnsworth was nominated for best actor for an Academy Award. It's one of my favorite performances, and favorite characters of any movie.

When Alvin Straight's brother has to go to the hospital for serious health problems, Alvin wants to go visit him. There are a few problems with this: they haven't spoken in nearly ten years. A feud they had when they were younger has kept them apart. And, Alvin is too old to drive. So, what's the solution? He stubbornly resolves to get to his brother, hundreds of miles away, by driving a lawn mower. It's touching, and wrenching at times. It's a beautiful story, full of love.

Well, those are my recommendations for now. Write in, and let me know how they change your life. I may write some horror recommendations, even though I know there's no demand for it at all! Thanks for reading.

audition 101

Maybe you've heard of craigslist.org. It's a web site dedicated to trading and selling goods. It's similar to Ebay in that regard, but it is much more grassroots. It is localized to particular cities. For example, if I wanted to buy a couch, I could go on there and find one in my area.
After being in Hollywood for a few months, I found out about an open call audition in Burbank on craigslist. I didn't have headshots at the time, but I decided it was worth the experience. The ad described this television show as a "VH-1 style" movie critic commentary show. The cast would comment on the latest movies and describe the good/bad of the film in funny ways. It required improvisational skills, but no monolouge was required.
So, I drove to the address in Burbank saturday morning. It was a giant office building, and I had no idea what kind of environment this was going to be. I parked, walked into the bizarre lobby of this place, and took the elevator up to the fifth floor. When the door opened on the fifth floor, the circus began. There was a hallway of what looked like some type of hotel, filled with every kind of person imaginable. There were latinos, african americans, white folks, asian, every race. Old people, young people, men, women, boys and girls. All shapes and sizes. I went up to this desk, and they told me to sign in. I had to fill out this really long form, and they told me to go to the back of the line. I walked down the hall, and around the corner. When I rounded the corner to the right, there was another, LONGER, hallway of people all the way down. After stepping over legs and feet asking people to excuse me, I made another right turn and an equally long hallway. The end of the line was all the way at the end of the hall. There were hundreds of people at this random audition, and there was talk that the wait could be three to four hours. I walked to the end, sat down, and began filling out my form.
The questions on the form were about my favorite actors, favorite 80's movies, and pop culture in general. Soon after completing this survey, I sat and watched as people continued to show up, lining the other side of the wall.
After ten or fifteen apprehensive minutes of sitting in this bizarre hallway, three young men emerged from a door right next to me. They began looking around with clipboards, and pointing people out. "Okay, you. Okay, you. Okay, you." Of course, they picked me out of the crowd.
So, I followed these three young men along with five or six other picks from the hallway. It looked as if they had picked people that might actually have a shot at the show. We were all young, and VERY good looking. I shock myself sometimes when I look in the mirror.
These men took us into this office, where they then began interviewing us one at a time. One man did stand-up, one woman had been an anchorwoman in some random city in Utah, or Nevada, or somewhere. One young african american gentlemen, upon being asked why he wanted to audition, replied, "Look, man...I'm an actor out here in L.A. I really need the money, man. I really just need money."
Thank you, sir. We'll be in touch.
Then, they interviewed me last. I told them I was taking classes at the Groundlings, but I didn't have headshots yet. They seemed to like me.
The three young men then took us all, minus the one african american gentlemen, of course, into another "holding cell." We had somehow gained the privelage of being able to skip the three hour wait by being randomly hand-picked according to our age. What a relief.
I struck up conversation with a couple of the people in our little group. They were incredibly friendly, and optimistic about this whole thing.
We were then herded into the main audition. There was a camera, a blaring light, and a long table with a panel of people watching us. There were already about twenty people in the middle of their audition. We crowded around the wall as each person was called upon individually to perform the movie monolouge they had been asked to prepare. Of course. And, they were asked to do any celebrity impressions. I, of course, had no movie monolouge prepared.
EXCEPT for my YEARS of ACE VENTURA LOVE! I performed a scene from Ace Ventura, when his landlord asks him about animals in the house. Despite being totally unprepared, the quirky little performance earned genuine laughs from the panel. It felt great. Then, they asked me to debate with this woman about why I thought "Gigli" was so bad. I made some comments about Ben Affleck's hair. Then, they were like, "Thank you everyone. We'll be in touch."
A couple of weeks later, I got a message on my cell phone.
"Hi. This is [Gerard] Thomas, and I see here that you auditioned for the 'Critic's Corner' tv pilot."
Oh wow! A response! I knew the audition went well! Maybe...
"I also see that you didn't have a professional headshot. If you would like to get headshots, I'm a professional photographer. These headshots are only $250 for the whole package. If you're interested, give me a call at..."
So much for that.

Oscar buzz

I just read the Oscar nominations for this year, and I had to write a new post immediately.
This is kind of a strange year for the Academy Awards. They've got a list of nominees this year that include the traditional Oscar big budget Hollywood production, and the low budget indie pics they've come to embrace over the last few years. Almost every year, I inadvertently see two or three of the Oscar nominated Pictures of the year. This year I happened to see "Finding Neverland" and "The Aviator."
I wasn't surprised that Leonardo DiCaprio was nominated for "The Aviator", but Johnny Depp surprised me with "Finding Neverland." All his work is incredible. If he is nominated for "Finding Neverland", what about "Donnie Brasco?" I'm not complaining about his nomination, it's just strange that he's just now recognized for his consistent and prolific acting over the years. Personally, I think he should have been nominated for best actor for "Edward Scissorhands", "Ed Wood", and "Donnie Brasco." However, Finding Neverland is a solid and heartfelt performance by Depp, and I hope he wins.
BUT, I think we all know who's going to win best actor this year. Working at Universal, I was hearing Oscar buzz about Jamie Foxx long before "Ray" even came out. In fact, I was so turned off by all the Oscar buzz, I never saw the film. But, he probably deserves it and I wish him the best. He seemed to pour his heart and soul into it.
I'm kind of confused by the best supporting role nomination of Jamie Foxx for "Collateral."
He's going to have a tough time against Clint Eastwood, though. Eastwood's reputation and track record are incredible. I haven't seen "Million Dollar Baby", but it's on my list of the next one I want to see.
The most pleasant surprise in the acting categories is Alan Alda in "The Aviator." When I saw "The Aviator", his performance really imprinted on my mind. He really nailed it, and I hope he wins.
I was also surprised that Natalie Portman was nominated for "Closer." I think she should have been nominated for "Garden State." But, at least she's being recognized. She's teriffic.
I was curious to see how the Academy would recognize "Eternal Sunchine of teh Spotless Mind." I was thinking this might be Jim Carrey's year, but the writing was recognized. I'll take it.
Another curiosity was "The Passion of the Christ." While it did get recognized for the score, and makeup, ummm...what about Jim Caviezel? He had to portray a character that already has a lot of preconcieved baggage, AND make it applicable to the tone of the film. I think his portrayal was deep and human. If you've seen "The Passion of the Christ", I ask you: Did you ever for one second feel like you were watching an actor portray Jesus? I didn't. He totally threw himself into the role, and created the best film portrayal of Jesus I've ever seen. James Caviezel is my pick for this year's Oscar shaft.
Another milder Oscar shaft was Kate Winslet for Best Actress in "Finding Neverland." Wasnt' she awesome?
When I saw "The Incredibles", I knew it would get some kind of Oscar Recognition. I love love this film, and I hope it wins Best Original Screenplay, AND Best Animated Feature Film. I think it has a solid shot at both.
Does anyone doubt Best Song will be "Phantom of the Opera", "Learn to Be Lonely?" At least, I hope it wins.
I'm usually pretty good about predicting Best Actor, and Best Supporting Actor. Everything else I'm hit or miss. I just pick my favorites and form my own opinions. If you have any Oscar thougts, please feel free to post a comment or two.

special request

The first section of this blog is inspired by a special request. Someone asked me to write about the death of Johnny Carson and how the upcoming Oscars affect my life.
First, Carson lived a quiet life away from the limelight ever since he left the show. Jay Leno payed a nice tribute to him a few nights ago on his show.But, when Leno first took over the show, there was some controversy because Jay didn't say anything about Carson on his first episode. I wasn't personally connected to it, though.
I got a call from my friend Les about five days ago. He said he got the offer of a lifetime from our mutual friend Ward.
Let me give you a quick update of who Ward is: he's also a starving artist type right down the road from me in North Hollywood. He does wardrobe design for the show "Nanny 911." He got hooked up with the responsibility of finding ushers for the Oscars to usher celebs from their limos down the red carpet!! So, Ward called Les and asked him to do it. So, Les Bradford is going to be one of six ushers escorting people down the red carpet on Oscar night. Ward WOULD have called me for the job, but unfortunately I'm not in Los Angeles anymore. I'm writing this blog from Knoxville, Tennessee. I'm kicking myself because I left two weeks too early to get the job. oh, well. You'll have to watch for Les on tv, though.
About five days ago, I went up to Las Vegas with my roommates. We stayed there friday night, which was insane! I don't encourage gambling, but I lost a great deal of money on nickel slot machines and the roulette table. Vegas is really amazing, but it's easy to lose a lot of money and/or dignity. I got to see Caesar's Palace, the Venetian, Havannah's, Stardust, and the Belagio. It was a blast.
I left Vegas with everything packed in my car, and headed for Arizona. I saw the Grand Canyon the next day. Then, I headed across the country, staying in bizarre roach motels along the way. I stopped in Nashville and visited a friend, then I made the rest of the trek to knoxville. I just got here late last night. I drove my CRX that has 170,000 miles on it. It's surprising that it made it that far!
Why did I move away from Hollywood? I'll write more on that later. I guess that deserves its own blog.
Oh, another note: Everyone is making a big deal about Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt breaking up. Last May, I heard from a friend that they had seen Brad Pitt with Angelina Jolie at a party. That in itself isn't that strange, but it was kind of strange that they were making out. So, I kind of saw the end coming for them a while ago. I was hoping that the story of Pitt and Angelina being together at that party was an exaggeration, but I guess it wasn't.
The rain storms a couple weeks ago were also really bad. You may have heard about some of the California rain storms on the news, or something. The problem is, most places don't have any kind of drainage system. So, the water pools up on the streets, and everything gets soaked. Driving is really dangerous. Buildings also aren't designed to withstand much rain, so everything starts to leak. Luckily, our apartment building was really solid. But, everyting else was kind of leaky.
That's my news from Hollywood, for now.

drifters and strangers

This thursday night I was closing up at Puccino's. it was just a few minutes before 9 PM, and two middle aged men walked in. They ordered their pizza, and they were really friendly. Of course, as part of my job, I was friendly to them, too. As I was checking out one guy at the register, he began asking me about beer prices. "Sir, to be honest with you, I have no idea what beer costs around here." He looked at me with a strange look in his eye. Then, he hesitated. He had something on his mind. He asked me, "Sir, are you a Christian?" I thought this was odd.
"Yeah. Yeah, I am."
Then, he asked me where I went to church. He said, "I can tell you're a Christian. You just have a certain look on your face. you seem to live a really clean life."
Crazy, huh? In the middle of LA, far from the Bible belt, this was a strange occurance. But, an encouraging one nonetheless.
So, later that night, I returned to my apartment. My roommate Andy was there with our friend Benj. Andy had rented from Odyssey video a Japanese zombie musical. I'm not making this up. So, we watched the last chunk of it, then we set off to Odyssey to return it. The returns have to be back by midnight, so we just made it in time. We returned to the apartment. My friend Benj does a lot of extra work in film and television. He was sharing some interesting stories with us. We were watching Conan O'Brien, having a delightful time. Around 1 am, we were about to call it a night.
There was a soft knock at our apartment door.
Now, I must clarify at this point that apartment buildings in LA are surrounded with gated fences. So, the only real possibility when someone knocks on your door is that it's either a neighbor, or the UPS man. My first thought was that it was our neighbor downstairs and we were being too loud, or something. I looked through the peep hole, and it was the figure of a man. So, I thought it was the man who lives directly below us.
I opened the door, and it was definitely not our neighbor. It was a scraggly looking white man in his mid to late twenties. He looked like he hadn't showered in days, and his grimey hand was covered with blood. He stammered, "Hey, man,...I'm locked out of my car. Mind if I use your phone to call my Mom?"
Um...ok. I handed him our apartment phone, and he began making a call. I told him he could come in. Don't ask me why I invited this guy into our home. I was tired, and not thinking clearly.
He walked in, and while he was on the phone, asked if he could wash his hand off in our bathroom. He went in the bathroom, washed his hand off, and came back out. He left a message to someone he apparently thought was his mother. I asked him what his name was, and he told me his name was Belinda. He sat down on our couch, and asked if he could stay long enough to wait for someone to call him back. I agreed, and we continued watching Conan. My roommate Doug came home, and started up a conversation with "Belinda." This guy told Doug that he was a Chiropracter. He then began telling Doug about humans floating in water as the most effective way to expand their muscles.
I was beginning to get the feeling this guy was someone who shouldn't be in our apartment.
He asked if he could borrow a lighter, then he went back into our bathroom and shut the door.
To make a long story short, the guy asked for a ride at 1:40 in the morning to some house near Warner Brothers. Benj and Andy drove him to some place in West Hollywood and dropped him off. He was clearly a druggie who had no idea where he was. He was also high as a kite and I'm surprised he could string sentences together.
We think maybe he jumped the fence of our apartment complex. Or, a door was left propped open that he walked through. I'm glad the guy was harmless.
I also saw a black man in his mid forties yesterday in West Hollywood with kakhi pants hiked up to his chest, no shirt, a little radio, and a stroller full of clothes. He was on the sidewalk, dancing to "My Perrogative" by Bobby Brown for an imaginary audience.

Helen from Texas: statistic #85743837

I drive a 1991 honda CRX. If you're not sure what that is, just imagine a bigger-than-average go cart. That's what it is. I love that car, but it's not working right now. It won't start. I'm not really a mechanic, or something, so I have no idea what's wrong with it.
Yesterday, I had to walk to work. LA and surrounding regions are experiencing strange weather, so of course it's been pouring rain here for three or four days. And it's cold rain. So, I made my way down Ventura Boulevard, then made a left onto Lankershim. I met a woman at a crosswalk across from Universal. She was a tall Puerto Rican woman, probably late 20's, with shades. She approachedf me and asked me how to get to the tram that goes up to Citywalk. It just so happened that that was where I was going. Her mother was with her, too. Her mom was a character directly from Napoleon Dynamite. She simply nodded in agreement with everything her daughter said. I told them they could walk with me to the tram. It's rare to find someone who's that friendly on the street.
I quickly learned that Helen was new in town, and she was from Texas. She was here to persue acting, obviously. She excitedly listed a string of celebrities she had seen since being there, and all her acting plans. I told her I had been here about a year. She was really excited to meet someone who was here trying to break into the acting world.
The confrontation with this woman did strange things to my soul. We walked down Citywalk, and she was soaking up all the sites in awe. She couldn't ask questions fast enough. We talked about Studio City, Jay Leno, reality TV, extras casting, and Burbank. She enthusiasticlly told me she was going to start looking for an agent immediately. I felt like a wise sage imparting wisdom upon a new student. She said and thought all the things I thought when I first moved here. I told her, "You have to be really patient." She shook her head quickly and told me she had heard that. I knew in my heart that she had no clue. I also told her, "You know, you're competing with millions of people. It's tough, and you're basically treated like a commodity, and that's if you're lucky." She quickly explained to me that she heard all the stories, and she knew what she was getting into. She had no idea.
Helen may or may not stay in Hollywood. But, as I walked into the pizza joint, and she was standing in the middle of Citywalk, smiling and waving with her mother, I felt like I was talking to myself one year ago. All those fresh hopes and dreams slowly becoming realized. I knew that if she stayed long, she would experience intense rejections, elation and success, pride and humility. She would come full circle to truly realizing all the stereotypes. They wouldn't just be strings of cliches, but actual experiences she could talk about. I knew that most likely, there would be a day when she would realize that being at home is more important than her circle of superficial aquaintances. She would face the fact that real relationships are far more precious than imaginary fantasies.
if you want to check out Citywalk at Universal, click here.

The Great Odyssey

I feel really freaked out and saddened by all the deaths in East Asia. That's a terrible situation, and I wish Americans could do more. But, the damage has already been done, and the aftermath is horrible.
On a lighter note, I also want to make a comment on Blockbuster's new "no late fee" policy. It's a great idea, inspired by the legacy of the "netflix" popularity. But, I want to use this opportunity to clarify to the world that "Odyssey Video" here in North Hollywood is THE GREATEST video store that has ever, or ever will exist. You may say, "Evan, that's a ridiculous and bold statement. Could it possibly be true?" Yes. It's true. "Why?" you ask. I'll tell you. Every tuesday and thursday, all their new release DVD's are only 99 cents. You read that right. 99 cents. No Blockbuster monthly fee can compete with that. Rent at your leisure. 99 cents. Now, if you know me, you probably also know that there's more to the story other than the cheap new release rentals. That alone makes it far better than Blockbuster. But what pushes it over the edge to being the greatest video rental entity on the planet today? Odyssey video, ladies and gentlemen, has a vast collection of obscure 70's and 80's horror films on VHS. 99 cents. Every day. That's right. They have obscure made-for-tv Halloween specials from the early to mid 80's that are not available anywhere else. They have the entire "Dark Shadows" horror soap opera from the 60's/70's available on VHS for rental. They have absolutely low budget zombie films that look like they were filmed on someone's home video camera in 1985.
I have discovered treasures at Odyssey video that can be found nowhere else. I saw a film about an astronaut who returns to earth from a space mission, and his face begins melting. He goes insane, staggering through the woods, and terrorizing the suburbs until a grizzled old military detective and a NASA official finally stop him. I have seen a classic film entitled "Wicker Man", in which a Scottish detective visits an island to search for a missing girl. The island ends up being a bizarre 70's cult, and they enslave the man in a giant wicker man. The film is filled with bizarre hippie anthems and creepy hippie folk cult music. It's brilliant. I've seen low budget vampires, zombies, ghosts, rubber puppet creatures, evil demon rock bands, scarecrow monsters, werewolves, aliens, various crazed slashers, and even rednecks with shotguns. It's an addiction. My roommates and I love watching and evaluating them. It's great.
In a related story, I rented "Unforgiven" starring Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman, and Gene Hackman. It's a western that was made in '92 and it won some Oscars, including Best Picture, I think. I watched it late that night, and the next day when I got to work, one of the actors in the movie was in Puccino's Pizza. It was the guy that played the biographer in the movie. I couldn't believe it! I wanted to talk to him and tell him I loved him in "Unforgiven". how freaked out do you think he would have been? I never would have known it was him if I hadn't just watched that movie. Unfortunately, I didn't get to talk to him, so the story is basically over.
I hereby proclaim Odyssey is the greatest video store in existence, and it shall never be rivaled.