summer 2002

In the summer of 2002, while I was still in college, I worked at a youth camp called Student Life. Now, for all of you who may have certain images of summer youth camp, let me tell you: times have changed. No longer are kids bunked up in musty log cabins, roasting marshmallows, and (you guessed it) singing kum-ba-ya around the fire. Youth camp is all high-tech now. I was on the acting team.

We had an elaborate set, with high budget lighting. There were two giant screens on either side where films and various footage could be shown. And, graphics and animations made my Student Life.

Yesterday I had the privelage of going up to Covenant College, my old camp stomping grounds. I was visiting my friend Les. (The guy I moved to Cali with. I met him at camp.) We were on the same team that summer.

It was fantastic walking across that campus. There were teenagers running around, and camp was in full swing. I was struck by how much the culture has changed in just three years since I did camp. There are now pink Student Life shirts for the guys! I guess that's the cool thing for the kids these days, guys wearing pink.

The culture among teenagers may always be changing, but the energy does not. Having several hundred or a thousand teenagers together in one place still provides the same supercharge of electricity. I enjoyed it.

I got to see some old faces, and meet some new ones. I bumped into a youth minister I haven't seen in years. I first met in back in 1996 or so, when he was in college. He was excited to see me (and I him). He had many questions for me and the 'ol gang. It was refreshing and unexpected to suddenly be connected with my past in such an obscure way.

There is a weird tower on campus. The school is literally on top of a mountain, so from the inside of this tower, you can see an amazing panoramic of Chattanooga. At the end of summer 2002, a group of us were taken up into this tower. There, in this hot wooden room, we signed our names. Gazing up at that tower last night brought back the crazy memories of signing my name with many others in years past.

I also want to say congratulations to my friend Les. I can't say details now 'cause it's a secret. But, I can elaborate later.

P.S.- The tail lights on my car went out during the trip. So, I had to drive an hour in the dark, on an interstate. But miraculously, I wasn't pulled over by the 50. I want to send a shout out to the public serving and protecting of America's transportation outlets. I'm glad somebody wants to do it!

christopher lee

christopher-lee
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

Last night I was watching a VH-1 show called Best Week Ever. The show takes the most important weekly pop culture events and analyzes them. It's a funny show. Last night's episode picked actor Christopher Lee as having the best week ever. Which is incredible, because I'm going through a Christopher Lee phase right now! With Lord of the Rings, Star Wars III, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, this 83 year old dude is on a roll! And, he deserves it. His rich deep bass voice delivery harkens back to the days when British Shakesperean acting was revered and practiced by the best.

One of my favorite "horror" movies is called The Wicker Man. The leader of the village was, of course, Christopher Lee. This movie was made in the early to mid seventies, so it's a very different version of the actor. But, his demeanor and delivery are the same. Christopher Lee's style is eloquent, classy, and graceful. That's why it's even better when he has to deliver lines like, "Lollipop? Might as well be called 'cavity on a stick'." And, "As you see, my Jedi powers are far beyond yours." I hope Lee continues acting in films 'til he's 90! Click here to check out his profile, including all the movies he's been in.

tree 37

Yesterday I went to a Tennessee Smokies baseball game with my friend Tim and his family. I'm not the biggest baseball fan on earth, and I couldn't tell you any players' names on the team. However, the experience turned out to be blog-worthy.

We turned out to be sitting right next to a moderately obscure Christian rock band called "Building 429." We had a couple of good laughs at the name, and Tim's sister semi-met them. They seemed really friendly. I wasn't sure who they were, so I didn't want to be one of those people talking to them, or something.

After the game, a truck pulled out onto the field. A crew set up the stage and equipment, and the band began playing. There was a definite Switchfoot thing happening, but I liked it. The lead singer was like, "Hey, we sort of met you!" And waved up at us.

I suppose the thousand-something teenage youth group boys and girls at the game really enjoyed it. And, I did, too.

life in Athens, Tennessee

I don't really know what I want to say. Too much happens to process it all. We all have obligations to fulfill that keep us occupied. Sometimes it's difficult to communicate that with others. My life isn't really that interesting here lately. But, maybe others think it is.

Athens, Tennessee is where I've been for the last few weeks. It's a small town, but there's something about it I like. There are lots of lush green trees, hills, and plants all around it.

I could have been an extra in a Will Ferrell movie that's filming in Birmingham, Alalbama. However, I just found out about it yesterday. And, they had an open casting call this last weekend. It would have been fun, but I was a little too slow. Blast me, dear reader! Have I blown the opportunity of a lifetime? That's what I've been living with today. But, I don't think it's as dramatic as that. However, it would have been nice to be able to go to that casting call.

I am actually considering substitute teaching this fall. Am I crazy? I must be insane. Maybe for some combat pay and a new car, or something. Then I'll think about it. I don't know, maybe it would be fun to interact with teenagers. And, I would only be working one day at a time.

I feel the inevitable low budget job slowly approaching over the horizon. I don't want to get some mediocre job just to pay bills, but it looks like my circumstances are drifting that way. Oh, well. What can you do?

rolling stone rambling

Life is funny. None of us can predict where we will go, or how we'll get there. It doesn't matter how much money and influence you have, you can never be completely secure. From Donald Trump to the scuzziest grocery cart pushing homeless bum on Hollywood Boulevard, we're all sort of in the same boat. We just plod along, moving toward the best life possible. If "best life possible" sounds too vague, well, it's a big can of worms. It can be different for everyone.

The other day I was watching "Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star" starring David Spade. Yeah, I didn't have much else to do. Or, actually, I had a lot of other things I should have been doing. But, the whole movie is about a failed Hollywood acting career. The interesting thing about it was the portrayal of life as a Hollywood actor. It was sad and funny, all at the same time. The life of a starving artist. Starving, yet blessed. Because, not many Americans are genuinely starving. I was just starving according to my spoiled suburban roots. Actually, I gained weight in California because there were so many fantastic places to eat in Cali.

So, where am I going with all this? I don't know. I feel like I'm grasping in the dark to articulate feelings of a past life in Hollywood, that now feels like a dream of distant people and images. Could I have done more? Did I miss meeting the right casting director by five minutes one day? Could I have worked harder while I was there?

I can't answer most of those questions. All I know is, I did what I could when I was there. I worked the smartest way I knew how. And, while I didn't become the next Ted Danson, at least I was successful in the sense that I kept my wits about me. And I ate. And I learned a lot. And made life-long friends. And saw Eric Estrada. And transvestites. And a Kiss cover band. What more could you ask for? I would be spoiled and foolish to consider my time in L.A. a failure.

he's still got it

burton
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

This weekend I had the joy of seeing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on its opening night. One thing you have to understand up front: I'm a huge Tim Burton fan. I'm a fan of his style, but not so much any specific work he's done. Although, I do enjoy his movies.

Over the course of the last few years, Burton has churned out a few movies that are of interest. Big Fish is a good, in-depth and mature work by Tim Burton. Much of the playful humor is exchanged for a darker tone. Before that, there was Planet of the Apes. It was another summer "blockbuster" release. And, well, it wasn't Tim's best, let's be honest. In fact, it was awful. I only watched it one time. Then, the one before that, waaaay back in 1999, was Sleepy Hollow. A cool, atmospheric film, but not my favorite by a long stretch.

So, what was the deal? With so many classics I loved like Batman, Beetlejuice, Nightmare Before Christmas, Ed Wood, and Edward Scissorhands all being way back in the early nineties, were Tim Burton's best days behind him? I was beginning to think so. Big Fish, while good, and somewhat interesting, lead me to believe Burton was going in a more grown-up direction. Thus, leaving behind the childish joys of pure imaginative expression.

Alas, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory changes all that. I know comparisons to the original movie are inevitable, but let's set that aside for a minute. In fact, the very theme of the movie is holding on to childhood imagination, and embracing family and creativity. Visually, it was incredible. Even as a Tim Burton fan who knows what to expect, this movie was still rich with unexpected surprises. Christopher Lee, one of my favorite actors, is fantastic. The Oompa Loompas are hilarious, and the songs they sing are brilliant. And who can forget; the accompanying Danny Elfman contributions.

A few scenes that stuck out to me are as follows:

1. There is an animatronic puppet show that Willy Wonka created. It catches on fire accidentally, and the puppets begin to burn and melt, obscuring their voices. It was deliciously Burton. Very poetic.

2. Tim Burton managed to wedge in a wonderful Halloween scene, with Christopher Lee at its center. I reveled in the joy of it.

3. Every song the Oompa Loompas sang was cryptically lyrical, and hilariously dark.

Though dark, the movie manages to be funny and charming. I loved this movie. A warning for all you moviegoers: you may not share in that love. Many reasons I love this movie are because of obscure personal preferences that others may not share. So, don't be angry with me if you're disappointed! But, if you've already seen the other summer blockbuster schlock, and you want to see something creative and unique, check it out. Don't take it too seriously, though. Just sit back and enjoy.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory official site

stand-up

I am scared, ladies and gentlemen. I'm scared to try stand-up comedy. But, I want to. It's just so scary. I could be a disaster. Plus, I only know one joke, and this is it:

Q: What kind of a drill does a dentist use on a dragon?
A: A fire drill.

How far am I going to get with that?

The only time I've done stand-up comedy was an impromptu episode in a Knoxville coffee house. They had an open mic night, and I took the opportunity to stand up there and muddle through some "stand-up". It was stuff I just made up on the spot. Kind of weird.

Nearly all my peers in my Groundlings classes were stand-up comedians. They're a strange breed of people. The times I went to see stand-up comedy in L.A. proved to be truly disturbing episodes. I've blogged on that subject before.

If you watch Pauly Shore's new series about The Comedy Store, that's where I saw stand-up. And met people that operated the place. A weird, weird breed, let me tell you. I'll never forget seeing Andrew Dice Clay...well:

You can read the whole story here. When you click on the link, just imagine blurry waves taking you into the past, like they used to do on Saved By the Bell when they did a flashback.

the new man

I have a confession to make. I kind of enjoy shopping. I know, it's not the most "manly" thing I could admit, but hey, it's a new era. Friday, I met someone at the mall. I pretty much went crazy because they were having all these end of summer, beginning of fall clothes kind of sales. I wasn't planning on buying anything, I just wanted to meet my friend there. But, I went crazy with a new pair of shoes, pajamas, pants, sandals, and a new shirt. I was racing frantically from store to store, dragging my friend along.

Maybe most men are not as savage as they once were. Most of us are not catching animals in the forest with our bare hands, or hauling giant rocks around like cavemen. We work in offices, and shop in malls. We drive sedans and drink morning coffee. I mean, I like theater, for crying out loud. And I admit, I enjoyed Fever Pitch, with Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon. But, the baseball part was the best. Not the love story.

Wow, this blog took a weird turn. Excuse me, I'm going to go reevaluate my life.

grateful baptists

grateful baptists
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

During my first two years of college, I was a part of a drama ministry group called "OOMITS". It stood for "Out of Mind, in the Spirit." Cheesey, I know. Our uniforms were light blue denim shirts, and kakhis. We travelled to area churches and performed a whole slew of skits and dramatic musical interpretations. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being Mozart genius, and 1 being low budget schlock, our skits and performances were a solid 2.6. We performed in sunday night services. Sometimes sunday morning. Often times we performed for youth services. Oh, we were serious.

Travelling to so many services afforded us the opportunity to meet many fascinating people and have many interesting and strange encounters. The following is one of my favorite "OOMITS" tales.

One sunday morning we headed off to a small Baptist church in the middle of nowhere. We travelled so much, I didn't know where we were half the time. This church building was very old, dark, and ornate. Most of the few hundred congregation members were of the "elderly" persuasion, if you know what I mean. They were friendly, though. And so was the pastor. He was a shorter, middle-aged guy. He sported a nice dark blue suit and a black mustache. A really nice guy.

After we performed our hand full of skits, we sat through the rest of the worship service. Music, sermon, standard fare. At the end of the service, we (the entire congregation) were instructed to stand and join hands as we sang the final song. The words were printed in the program. It was a nice tune about joining together, and loving each other. Whatever.

Afterward, our small acting troupe was invited to eat lunch with the pastor and a handful of moderately elderly church members who had made food. So, we sat in the basement in the "fellowship hall", enjoying our meal and chatting with the pastor.

"So, did any of you recognize that song we sang at the end of the service?"

We were blank. I had never heard it before.

"Well, I probably wouldn't want to tell any of my members this, because I know they wouldn't like it. But, that's a Grateful Dead song. Tune and all."

Um...excuse me? You are actually rad enough to, first of all, be familiar enough with their music to pick a song to sing in church? And secondly, you don't tell your members because you're afraid they wouldn't like it? So, we're standing in a church service, standing, hands joined, singing a Grateful Dead tune and only one sicko in the room knows what's happening? Brilliant.

America: Greatest Country Ever

I wish I was in L.A. these days. I miss the weather. July 4th, my parents and I saw some fireworks in a town called Etowah, Tennessee. Population: 3,639. It was a drizzly muggy night, but the show was great.

America is the greatest country. Now, I have friends that freak out when I say that, because they say, "Oh, other countries have rich cultures, ancient customs and wonderful history..." Well, that may be true, but it ain't America. We are free. And, to love America means you love freedom. That isn't limited to one country. To have disdain for love of America is to have disdain for freedom. Loving America isn't narrow-minded. In fact, it's one of the widest-minded loves there are. The love for people to be free, for society to experience justice, and the power for people to self-govern.

Some other countries seem great on the surface. The average income seems high. The quality of life appears to be okay. But, if you look below the surface you begin to realize that those countries are basically communist. And, they come begging America for help when they get in trouble, like whiney children.

Some of you are probably irritated by those words. Maybe infuriated. Well, sorry. I love liberty and freedom. I like John Stuart Mill. And, freedom of religion. (the seperation of church and state was drafted in part by a Baptist, mind you.) When people credit Thomas Jefferson for the actual phrase "separation between Church and State", he was basing that phrase on a statement by famous historical Baptist, Roger Williams. Thomas Jefferson was writing a letter to a Baptist church, which is why I guess he used the Williams terminology. Here is what Roger Williams said:

When they have opened a gap in the hedge or wall of separation between the garden of the Church and the wilderness of the world, God hath ever broke down the wall itself, removed the candlestick, and made his garden a wilderness, as at this day. And that there fore if He will eer please to restore His garden and paradise again, it must of necessity be walled in peculiarly unto Himself from the world...(2)

Enough sermon. The point is, I like the government to have its grubby hands off the church. And, I like baseball. And hot dogs. I love Coca-Cola. And Johnny Cash. I wish I owned a Corvette. Some other countries are nice, but I love America. It's the best country ever.

Billy Graham at the Rose Bowl

Billy Graham at the Rose Bowl
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

Last fall, Les and I discovered that Billy Graham was going to speak at the Rose Bowl in L.A. Knowing his age, we wanted to take advantage of the opportunity. We knew it was most likely one of his last speaking engagements, so we drove down there on sunday night.

I'm not sure what I was expecting. I thought it would be emotional, super-spiritual, or a life-shaking experience to watch this legendary man speak. But, it wasn't, really. It was just what it appears to be: a frail old preacher speaking from the pulpit. He was hunched over, holding the sides of the pulpit. His voice was soft and elderly. The simplicity of that was moving.

Les and I had no direction when we got to the Rose Bowl. We had to walk about a mile or so to get there after finding a parking spot. When we entered the actual Rose Bowl, we had no idea where to go. There were no signs or anything. We entered, and found ourselves surrounded and bombarded by Koreans. We were in the Korean vector of the Rose Bowl! We had to stand, and got repremanded by a Crusade worker who didn't want us to stand in that particular spot.

People flooded the field during the altar call, and it was an odd thing. It was surreal to hear Billy Graham up close, calling to the masses. I'm glad I got the chance to do it, especially in light of his recent announcement that his speaking engagements in New York will probably be his last. I deeply respect him, and God has used him tremendously.

forced retreat

I have been living in a trailer for the last week and a half. As in, mobile home. It's in a town called Ten Mile, Tennessee. There is no cell phone reception for miles, and it's right on the lake. My parents are moving into a house, and while I look for a job, I'm with them. So, that means I'm in the trailer for now.

Being on forced retreat has its pros and cons. The down side is, I feel removed from all society. There may be things I could be doing for my career out there in the world somewhere, but I don't have access to it. And, I'm losing touch with friends. And maybe reality.

The up side is, there can be spiritual benefits to such a retreat. Especially if it's forced. Being on the lake provides a heavy dose of up-close nature. It's always interesting to confront nature.

I went fishing with my dad. Standing out on a pier, in the afternoon sun, I quietly cycled through the process. Squeezing the line, whipping the rod, and casting the lure. The brightly colored lure whizzed through the air with a whrrr, and quietly splashed into the water. Methodically, rhythmically, I reeled it back in, watching the ripples. As the lure was reeled back to its resting place, I started over. The lake looked so serene. It's not going anywhere. It doesn't have any appointments. Off in the distance, clouds were silent and still. Steam slowly rose from a nuclear power plant (no joke) and blended into the white puffy clouds above it. Birds fed, chirpped, flew. Turtles swam, creatures splashed, ducks floated. And, I fished. Over and over and over, the cycle of the cast and the reel. Of course, I didn't catch any fish, but that's hardly the point, is it?

I also saw a snake one night. Brown and black stripes. It was slithering in the shallow water next to the shore. Over rocks, under a tree root. It was fast, smooth, and quiet. It stopped for a prolonged time, several minutes. Then, continued its slithering, disappearing.

Several times, while taking an evening stroll, I've startled a bunny from its hiding place. Bursting from undergrowth, it darted across the field. I don't know if I've seen the same bunny more than once, but it looks like the same one. It stopped some distance away, facing me, and remained still. Motionless, it sat in the grass, watching me. Then, it darted away into the trees. Innocent, and so full of life.

One night I took a stroll down to the lake. I found myself picking up rocks and throwing them at fish! I would stare into the water until they swam around. Then, I would launch the rock at fastball speeds straight down, shocking the fish and sending it zig zagging away like a bolt of lightning. The rock splashed explosively, sending a burst of waves and bubbles. I don't know why I found this so funny. I guess violence toward small fish is always funny. But it also reveals something inside me. Something I can examine. Feelings, thoughts, swirlling about in the subconcious, brought to the surface through the meditative act of communing with nature.

evil dead

evildead
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

Ah, where to begin? How can I begin to describe this legacy in my life? I suppose I'll just start at the beginning.

I grew up in Morristown, Tennessee. For many years of my young pre-adolescent/post-adolescent life, I had heard of a film that was made in Morristown called Evil Dead. Of course, I wasn't curious enough to watch it. I'd seen the VHS case in the video store every time I skimmed over the horror section. I always hated that section. Gross VHS covers of ghouls, vampires, and other various twisted images. And, Evil Dead was no different. I turned my nose up at the thought of actually watching this schlock.

That was a long time ago.

When I hit college, and began getting interested (no, fascinated) with 80's horror, I remembered the Morristown, TN movie. So, one night I rented the VHS of Evil Dead with my friend Tim. My life, really, was changed.

"Evan, as your loyal blog reader, I'm wondering...how can a chintzy, low-budget, VHS 80's horror movie change your life?" Where, loyal blog reader, do I even begin?

First, I'll start with the film itself. Instantly, the fact that it was filmed in Morristown, TN, my alma matter, was the first big plus. Later, I was to find that it was filmed off the very road I lived on. "Really, Evan?" Absolutely. Literally one minute from where I lived. That's where it was filmed!

But, I'm getting ahead of myself. First, the film itself. It opens up with a band of miscreant college students riding in a car, as many 80's horror films do. The acting is bad, the writing is bad, and the cinematography is brilliant. It was like a spoof of an 80's slasher film. But, oh no, this was the real deal! These college "partiers" have rented a cabin up in the woods somewhere. They discover, I think in the basement, a "book of the dead" (original film title) with cantations, and some such nonsense. Unwittingly, they bring forth the evil in the woods, thus turning them into zombies, etc.

There are parts of this film where I had to stop the tape and rewind it. It wasn't because I was scared. It's because I was literally laughing so hard, tears were streaming down my face, and I missed chunks of the movie. ("chunks of the movie"...how true. It's quite gory.) I can safely say that almost nothing in my life, much less a movie, has ever made me laugh that hard. I don't even like most comedies, unless it's Will Ferrell. But, this one did it for me. Evil Dead is the funniest movie I have ever seen in my entire life. This film transcends the actual film genre into a new realm of genius. I won't go into the details of why, but you get the idea. The sequences of bloodshed are so over-the-top, yet so sincere. The filmmakers were obviously trying so hard to make something over-the-top scary, but instead, they made it over-the-top bloody, absurd, and beyond all reason. But, the creativity and candor of it really make it worthwhile.

Reason 2 that I love this film so much is because of the lead actor. I noticed him when I first watched Evil Dead. His acting bad, yes. His screen presence...something endearing, and so hilarious came through. He sort of ends up being the hero of the film. (or, at least, the only one who survives.) As I watched the end credits (after a brilliant final scene, I must add), I saw that his name was Bruce Campbell. He couldn't have been more than 22, or 23. Oh, I was so naive, loyal reader.

After that initial magical Evil Dead experience, I learned that this film had a cult following. And when I say cult following, I don't mean 30 people in a van wearing homemade Evil Dead patches in Nebraska. Nope, I'm talking about real cult following. They have conventions. Fan clubs. Web sites. Everything. The whole nine yards. There are people obsessed with this little film made in my neck of the woods.

And Bruce Campbell? He has become the hero, cult icon, of this film. He shows up at the conventions, oh, yes. He signs autographs. He caters to fans for hours and hours. In fact, he's made a living for the past 20 years doing it. And, he still does. He has even written a couple of books. I own If Chins Could Kill, and it's one of my favorite books. He recently came out with a new book called, "Making Love the Bruce Campbell Way." Yikes. Bruce also still acts and directs. He directed several episodes of Xena: Warrior Princess. (yeah, I know.) And, he has appeared in several films and tv shows. I won't bore you by listing them. My friend Benj, who is the king of movie extras, was an extra in a scene with Bruce Campbell! And, he even spoke to the man, the legend, himself!

Evil Dead has spawned two sequels. Evil Dead 2 (duh) and Army of Darkness. You may be wondering, who directed Evil Dead? A young man named Sam Raimi. He is now one of the most prominent directors in Hollywood. He directed The Quick and the Dead, For Love of the Game, and both Spiderman films. He has also produced a whole slew of tv shows and feature films. There is also speculation that there will be new Evil Dead sequels.

Here are some sites for hardcore fans. Even if you're not hardcore, these sites are still interesting:

Bruce Campbell Online - the official web site

Deadites - official Evil Dead fan site

Ladies of Evil Dead - official site of the women stars of Evil Dead (no, really.)

spin cycle

You ever feel like your life is on spin cycle, and you don't have much control over where it goes? I certainly do.

I also feel paralyzed by fears of failure, being "stuck", and drifting into miserable situations. I can't say everything I want to say in this blog right now, because it would come across as being far more bitter than I mean it. I will say, however, that my fears usually become self-fulfilling. That's the catch 22 of it. I know I'm being vague, but I don't want to beat dead horses.

INNOCENT: my initial reaction

michael jackson trial
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

I can't believe it. Micheal Jackson has been found NOT GUILTY on all 10 charges against him. That includes, giving intoxication agents to a minor with the intent to commit a felony, and conspiracy.

As I was watching the trial, I had several initial reactions. First, I found the crowd outside the courtroom hilarious! A middle aged white woman was releasing doves. They had to put one person on a stretcher and haul them away in an ambulance. There was cheering, and it was crazy. I was laughing out loud.

I was also shocked by the verdict itself. I expected Michael to be found guilty on at least one count. Even if it was a minor offense, it seemd like too much smoke for no fire. But, no. Innocent on all ten counts.

I also felt sad when I saw how somber Michael was as he walked out of the courtroom. Or, I should say, groggily shuffled out. They said on the news that if there was an outburst in the courtroom when the verdict was read, then there would be consequences. So, maybe The Gloved One was down playing his emotions. Weird, weird, weird.

My hope is that Michael is truly innocent. I feel odd about the verdict. On one hand, I celebrate it, as a fan. The cynical side of me, however, feels suspicious that this could be another...dare I even type this name...OJ Simpson situation. We'll see. We'll see what happens as the next bizarre chapters in Michael's saga unfold.

wading through peanut butter

I am a stout believer that people accept the consequences of their actions. I also believe that people don't end up in their station in life by accident. I believe in hard work, determination, intelligence, and all the things that drive a person.
My position in life right now, however, has me scratching my head and asking questions. How come I can't find a job? What's the deal with my family? Why are we moving? Where did my new girlfriend come from? How is it that all these things are happening to me, and I'm not doing anything? It's all just an odd sort of whirlwind. I'm caught in a storm. And, the goals I'm working toward?...Well, it's like trying to wade through peanut butter to get there. Neck high. And, I'm apparently doing something wrong.
I don't consider myself a very good actor. But, I haven't been in a play in a long, long time. And, I'm beginning to miss it. Times are strange. I'm desperately searching for a balance in my life, but the storm is rocking my little boat too much.
While it's out in the open, I do have a new girlfriend. It's incredible. But, maybe I'll blog more on that later.

make a difference

Brad Pitt in Africa
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

proverbs 22:9
A generous man will himself be blessed, for he shares his food with the poor.

I have a desire. The desire is to talk about my deep impressions of seeing poverty, sickness, and starvation in Africa without sounding preachy. After seeing the special on television tonight, I have a deep compassion for the poor people in Africa.

It is encouraging to see platinum celebrities such as Bono and Brad Pitt genuinely reaching out for such a worthy endeavor. Hopefully their celebrity status will get attention to the problems of starvation and poverty in Africa, and prompt people to do something about it.

My friend Les has sponsored and African child for a small fee every month. I was always curious about it. Now, after seeing the film Hotel Rwanda, hearing about the genocide in Darfur, and seeing Brad Pitt's passion for Africa, I have made a concious decision. When I have the means, I want to give money to African aid, and sponsor a child. It's a staggeringly small amount of money that can change someone's life. Click here to find out more about the effort.

NoHo Diner

As you may or may not know, I left California in misery. I felt that my adventures there ended on a high note with a fantastic two day excursion to fabulous Las Vegas! (another blog for another time) But, with all the reasons for moving back to the lovely southeast, I am beginning to miss things about California.

One such thing would be a fantastic little diner a couple of minutes from my apartment called the NoHo Diner. (North Hollywood Diner.) This place had a lot of character. The waitresses were women who were mostly close to the "senior" phase of their lives, if you get my drift. The setting of this diner had a lot of character, and a lot of regulars. I went there, on average, at least once per week. And, every time I would order the burger and fries. It was one of the best burgers I've ever had.

My friend Travis introduced me to this eighth wonder of the world. He was a big fan. He always got the #12, one waffle, bacon, and orange juice. It was the real deal.

This diner was an intrical part of my social life in L.A. Travis took me there one of the first days I was in Hollywood. My friends and I would frequently meet there, since it was open 24 hours per day. It was a weird solace area where we could absorb the strangeness of the environment, have a quality cup of coffee, and have a center of reference for our social meetings.

I've met some interesting people in the diner. A homeless man, a couple of transvestites, and the guy who played Chekov in the original Star Trek. I used to sit out in the outside seating area, that was sort of outside, but it had a roof over it. I loved the fresh air breeze, and the frequent blaring car alarms. Such a strange thing to miss, but there was just nothing like it.

texas chainsaw massacre

tcm
Originally uploaded by ehiggin.

I am a big 70's/80's horror film fan. They are usually clunky, low-budget, saturated with bad acting, and filled with wonderful "special effects." I sometimes wonder how these films get made, and all these elements are part of the appeal. These movies are rarely scarey, but it's kind of fun when they are.

I'll start by telling you my favorite of all time: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

I always go into these films expecting them to be really bad. That's the fun. So, I rented the ancient VHS copy of TCM, popped it in the VCR, and my life was changed. Yes, the acting is bad. Yes, it's low budget. And it is a rare cinematic genius.

The film takes place in Texas (duh). Many of the shots are hot open road, blazing in the sun. The opening scenes of the sun, and the voice over by John Larroquette, are stunning. The sound effects are great. It is revealed that a group of unknown grave robbers have stolen some corpses from a local graveyard.

Then the action begins. A group of somewhat miscreant teens/early 20's kids is traveling to vacation at one of their grandfather's old houses. The dialouge is hokey, and the "performances" are clearly amateur. The first third of this film has some fantastic shots, creative angles, but other than that it's kind of slow. I was wondering why I had heard about this movie so much, and why some considered it classic. I was assuming it would probably go over my head.

Gradually, this film's true persona unravels. Like poetry, the pace of the film draws you in and scares your pants off! Surprisingly, there is very little, if any, blood. There is a bit of gore, but clearly would be PG-13 by today's standards. No, this isn't a slasher film. This is a suspenseful and psychological horror. By the time you're introduced to Leatherface, the notorious TCM killer, the pace of the film picks up, more ultra-bizarre freaks are introduced in the film, and the ending is simply unbelievable. I don't want to ruin it by explaining details, but I'll just tell you, it's wondrous. This is one of the most demented films I've ever seen, but not really offensive. Just bizarre, and a little scary. There are a few films I would actually consider poems. Most of them are Stanley Kubrick films. But, Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is truly a cinematic poem. Rare, and artistically pure.

new challenges

So, the other day I was watching TV. A Clearasil commercial came on, and I thought the girl in the commercial was familiar. Alas, I knew her! A wonderful moment! And, I was watching (yes, I admit) the Disney show That's So Raven and I saw another guy I auditioned for once. I saw a sitcom tonight that I went to a taping of, and I also saw 'ol Uncle Chuck Norris on the tube tonight. Friendly and strange reminders of a life I once lived. A life that only a handful of people know much about. It kind of makes me sad to have this year of life that's kind of a blank spot for so many friends and family. I wanted to bring more people into that world, but things had a way of working out differently. I still find that tough to accept. But, I soldier on in this new world. These new circumstances call for a different mindset. I struggle with the challenge, but I welcome new challenges. I don't believe in predestination (if you're not familiar with predestination, do yourself a favor and don't even ask), but I do believe that we all meet our destiny in one way or another. We have a responsibility to make choices. That is our power. We humans don't have much power beyond decision making. That's why I fight myself inwardly every day to make the right choices, and so often fail. But, I know the road to my ultimate destiny will inevitably be fulfilled. Uh,...I hope.