class is in session

Well, Thanksgiving is mere hours away. It's that wonderful time of seeing family, stuffing your face, and sinking into a deep abyss of mindless stupidity as you doze in front of the television watching football.

I gained a Bachelors degree from a quality private college institution. I've had years and years of school growing up. My intelligence may be in question, but the years of sitting in the classroom are without dispute. Yet, sadly, my knowledge of Thanksgiving history is limited. If I wrote a chapter in a History textbook about Thanksgiving, it would go as follows:

Some people in England were tired of being pushed around by the church of England. So, compounded with a general weariness and disdain for their lifestyle, they climbed aboard three ships: The Mayflower, Santa Maria, and the...uh...it'll come to me in a minute.

So, after months of sickness and hardship, they reached America. They all had hats, and buckles on their shoes. Most of their outfits were black. After fighting Native Americans (or, "Indians"), and teaching them how to scalp people, things kind of settled down.

At some vague point, the "pilgrims" had an outdoor picnic kind of thing, where they had turkey, dressing, and cranberry sauce. I think they invited some Indians.

I hope your Thanksgiving is full of joy, family togetherness, and a vague misguided ignorance about its history, just as mine will be.