Monday, September 05, 2005

destiny

Lately I've been going through a crisis of identity. I've been trying to choose a career path I can live with. And, something I can be successful with in the long run.

Today I was in a store that has all manner of bizarre "knick knacks" of technology. I came across this Los Angeles guide booklet, and I couldn't resist. I had to check it out. So, I picked up the pocket sized guide and began thumbing through it. There was a fold out map of the old stomping grounds. I reminisced in my mind the memories of old as I was bombarded with those old familiar boulevard names. Then, in the "things to do" section, I stumbled across a blurb describing the Groundlings Theatre. Of all the random sites and attractions, The Groundlings Theatre was one of the few sites listed to "must see." The blurb described the Theatre as "A training ground for 'out there' comedy performers. (SNL alumni, Pee Wee Herman.)" Hm. Snl alumni. Pee Wee Herman. Hilarious. I guess "out there" describes my style pretty well. I laughed in the store, reading this, and seeing the little red square on the map where the Theatre resides. Was I really there? Or, was it all a dream? We don't know.

So, tonight I was browsing through the Groundlings web site, which is not too shabby. I saw pictures of my old Groundlings teachers in sketches. There were a couple of pics of one of my old teachers in this sketch with Chris Parnell from SNL. I kind of took a joy in that. You know, knowing that this one guy went on to be relatively platinum in the comedy world, while my putz teacher stayed behind for a number of years teaching classes, continuing to struggle. That teacher was kind of putzy. Am I a jerk or what? Maybe there's bitterness in my heart.

I also saw a big picture of Amoeba Music in the guide, one of my favorite places. All my fav museums were listed, such as The Getty, which is fantastic.

I also got an email a few days ago from a friend of mine in L.A., Doug Jones. He was describing his latest actor enterprises. Yet more traces of a former life.

What's the deal? Why do I miss that chapter in my life? It was a crazy cool adventure. In fact, this very blog you're reading, dear reader, began as my chronicles of the enchanted land of L.A. I have since drifted from that theme into other realms. For example, how boring my life now is. I still harbor bitterness for the weird turn my life has taken here in East Tennessee. I struggle to stay optimistic and continue to count my blessings. Does the grass always have to seem greener on the other side? Am I destined to dissatisfaction? I hope not.

Groundlings Theatre


Amoeba Music

4 comments:

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Joie Mayfield said...

First of all, Evan...I'm sorry we can't hang out more. I know you're one of my best friends. I wish I could give you comforting advice and make things all better. I could give you a cliche "pray about it," forget about it, and that would be it. However, I know God is going to do great things for you and with you. You were one of the biggest reasons I became a Christian. You live the life. You know Christ. I love you.

Kelli said...

Evan, in case I haven't told you before, I really enjoy your blog. However, I am writing now to give you a reminder of something that I was recently reminded of and that is, the "death of a dream" phenomenon that occurs frequently throughout scripture. The most famous, I suppose, would be the death of Christ and how that must have impacted the disciples. Fortunately for them, they only had to wait three days to see Him come back to life. But think about Joseph. He's my favorite example. In the bible, there are only a few chapters between his dreams and their reality. But think about the actual amount of time and hardship...how hard it must have been to have seen a vision of what he was to become and then be sold into slavery, and then sit in prison. "Um, God?...remember me? I was supposed to be a great leader, right?...well, in case you haven't noticed, this is not what either of us had planned." Can you imagine?! Well, sorry to write a novel, but I hope it helps.

Jessie said...

Evan,
The grass is always greener right? There was no way you could have known back in L.A. the way things here would pan out. But God may have his reasons for bringing you back to Tennessee. You have some promising possibilities on the horizon. The coffee shop thing could end up being an amazing outlet for you. And if it falls through, you have so much potential and freedom to go any many directions. Your writing is one thing you wouldn't have had time for in L.A. And if you think maybe God wasn't finished with you on the west coast, that is something you should think about and pray about. Perhaps he has something completely different for you. Anyway, my heart goes out to you, and I will be praying for your career path.
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