Hmmm. I hate to say "I told you so", but...I TOLD YOU SO!!!
Last night I had the joy of watching the 77th Annual Academy Awards, and it was a special year for a few different reasons. First, after spending a year in Hollywood, I'm closer to that culture than ever before. This is also the first year when I ever predicted ALL the RIGHT acting awards! HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW??? Last year, I had Sean Penn and Tim Robbins pegged for their acting awards, but I wasn't sure about the actresses. This year, I got ALL the acting awards, and I had Clint Eastwood as Best Director. There was only one award of the entire night where I felt a sting of disappointment. It was the "Best Picture" award. I honestly hoped it was The Aviator's night. However, Million Dollar Baby was my second guess for winner. Who did I think DESERVED Best Picture? The Aviator, then Ray in second place, then Million Dollar Baby. What can I say? It's kind of subjective.
Since I guessed ALL the acting awards ,(Did I mention I got ALL of them right, plus BEST DIRECTOR??) Well, I DID! Since I got them right this year, I think that gives me a little credibility in that department. So, I've compiled a little list of some of my favorite performances. It's my own little "Oscar-worthy" list. Some of these performances were nominated or actually won, some didn't. But, they're all admirable and awesome in their own rights.
Martin Landau as Bela Legousi in the movie Ed Wood
Awesome.
Jack Lemmon as Shelley Levene in the movie Glengarry Glen Ross
Poor Shelley Levene is as shady as they come in the salesmen world. With his washed-up sales tactics, and final frayed hopes, he desperately tries to piece his life back together. So believable, so sad. So very brilliant.
Willem DaFoe as Max Schreck in the movie Shadow of the Vampire
A bold and unique performance. Willem DaFoe is one of my favorite actors, and this performance is one of his best. It showcases his creativity and attention to detail in his characters. I think he may actually be a vampire!
Richard Farnsworth as Alvin Straight in the movie The Straight Story
Great movie, one of my favorite performances of all time.
Johnny Depp in the movies Edward Scissorhands, Secret Window, Ed Wood, and Blow.
Yeah. He's platinum.
Halle Berry as Leticia Musgrove in the movie Monster's Ball
okay, I don't like the movie that much overall, but Halle....whoa.
Judy Garland as Dorothy Gale in the movie The Wizard of Oz
One of the greatest and most memorable characters, right? She was born to do it. And, the movie is one of the best ever made. So creative, so wonderful.
Samuel L. Jackson as Jules Winnfield in the movie Pulp Fiction
I am born anew in his genius. Is he even "acting"? Nope. He's doing what an actor is supposed to do. He's just "being" the character. A truly inspired performance.
And FINALLY....(drum roll)....
Corey Feldman as Edgar Frog in the movie The Lost Boys
Simply hilarious. I had to put a funny one on here. I love, love, love this movie, though.
That's it for today. Peace out. That is, of course, if anyone is actually reading this.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Sunday, February 27, 2005
pop
I've had a fabulous weekend. Friday night didn't quite turn out how we planned it. I was going to visit my friends Tim and Jessie in a magical town called Jefferson City, Tennessee. We were going to go with Ashleigh and her boyfriend to a senior (singing) recital on our alma matter campus. Ashleigh was driving up from Atlanta, and the recital started at 7:30. I haven't quite done the math to figure out exactly how she expected to get here on time. Anyhoo, she was in a wreck, and didn't get to Jeff City until around 9:30. We ate (at a restaurant I was once fired from) then went back to Tim and Jessie's apartment for a few laughs and good times. We stayed the night, and ate pancakes the next morning. Their apartment is amazing because it's literally in a cow field.
With the Academy Awards mere hours away, I finally got to see Ray last night. It was playing in this low budget movie theater on the other side of town, for $1.50. I was invited to a party celebrating the life of Hunter S. Thompson, but I wanted to experience Ray before the Oscar ceremony. It is truly incredible. It's gritty, dramatic, colorful, inspiring, and brilliant. It solidified my prediction that Jamie Foxx deserves, and will probably win Best Actor. Ray is a terrific film about art, fighting for your life, and struggling to make your way in this world. If you haven't seen it, you must.
Just to recap my Oscar predictions/hopes: Jamie Foxx for Best Actor, Hillary Swank for Best Actress, Cate Blanchett for Best Supporting Actress, Morgan Freeman for Best Suporting Actor, Clint Eastwood for Best Director, and The Aviator for Best Picture. These are all really just predictions. I have no clue who is actually going to win any of these.
With the Michael Jackson trial almost under way, the circus has already started. Fans waiting outside the courthouse for Jackson's arrival, trips to the hospital for the "flu", and bizarre celebrity testimonies. I have to admit, I'm a fan of Michael's music. I want him to be innocent, but I know deep down he's probably guilty. [insert Michael Jackson joke here]
Speaking of pop stars, I'm totally addicted to American Idol. This has been the most dramatic and most dynamic of the three prior seasons. As the competition has reached the final 22, the talent is unbelievable. Almost any of these people could have won the first American Idol. They've also made an interesting choice to allow two "rocker guys" into the final rounds. Interesting competition. My favorites are Carrie Underwood and Nikko Smith. But, we have about a month or so before we begin to see who might win.
I went to a temp agency the other day. This is the first time I've really pursued a non-acting related job in a long, long time. It's a strange feeling to be back among the "civilian sector" of society. I'm hoping God is leading me down this path, and will ultimately lead me back to my art. Sometimes He gives us a vision, but we don't quite know exactly how to get there.
That's my pop culture update for today. If you have any opinions or comments, please feel free to let me (and everyone else) know! Peace out.
With the Academy Awards mere hours away, I finally got to see Ray last night. It was playing in this low budget movie theater on the other side of town, for $1.50. I was invited to a party celebrating the life of Hunter S. Thompson, but I wanted to experience Ray before the Oscar ceremony. It is truly incredible. It's gritty, dramatic, colorful, inspiring, and brilliant. It solidified my prediction that Jamie Foxx deserves, and will probably win Best Actor. Ray is a terrific film about art, fighting for your life, and struggling to make your way in this world. If you haven't seen it, you must.
Just to recap my Oscar predictions/hopes: Jamie Foxx for Best Actor, Hillary Swank for Best Actress, Cate Blanchett for Best Supporting Actress, Morgan Freeman for Best Suporting Actor, Clint Eastwood for Best Director, and The Aviator for Best Picture. These are all really just predictions. I have no clue who is actually going to win any of these.
With the Michael Jackson trial almost under way, the circus has already started. Fans waiting outside the courthouse for Jackson's arrival, trips to the hospital for the "flu", and bizarre celebrity testimonies. I have to admit, I'm a fan of Michael's music. I want him to be innocent, but I know deep down he's probably guilty. [insert Michael Jackson joke here]
Speaking of pop stars, I'm totally addicted to American Idol. This has been the most dramatic and most dynamic of the three prior seasons. As the competition has reached the final 22, the talent is unbelievable. Almost any of these people could have won the first American Idol. They've also made an interesting choice to allow two "rocker guys" into the final rounds. Interesting competition. My favorites are Carrie Underwood and Nikko Smith. But, we have about a month or so before we begin to see who might win.
I went to a temp agency the other day. This is the first time I've really pursued a non-acting related job in a long, long time. It's a strange feeling to be back among the "civilian sector" of society. I'm hoping God is leading me down this path, and will ultimately lead me back to my art. Sometimes He gives us a vision, but we don't quite know exactly how to get there.
That's my pop culture update for today. If you have any opinions or comments, please feel free to let me (and everyone else) know! Peace out.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Chris and Ray
Ladies and gentlemen, this is my friend Ray. He was in one of my Groundlings classes, and he does stand-up comedy. He's been working consistently at "The Comedy Store" for a while, and his popularity seems to be growing. He shot a mass email my way saying he did a show the other night, and things went really well. Chris Rock closed out the show, unexpextedly. My experiences at the Comedy Store haven't been quite as positive, which you can read about here on my blog. Regretably, I never got the chance to see Ray do stand-up while I lived in California.
Even though I only worked with Ray for a couple of months in the class, I'm still oddly proud of him because I know how hard he works. He's very talented. Also, I know the high level of struggle. I wish Ray the best, and I hope his popularity and success continue.
Even though I only worked with Ray for a couple of months in the class, I'm still oddly proud of him because I know how hard he works. He's very talented. Also, I know the high level of struggle. I wish Ray the best, and I hope his popularity and success continue.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
closing this chapter
My life has reached an interesting Howard Hughes-like status. I live with my parents here in Knoxville, Tennessee. I just moved here from Hollywood about three weeks ago. It was a long and arduous journey across the country in my small CRX.
I am brought to a point of reflection on the last year of my life, and what it has meant to me. I'll never forget my first night in Studio City. I came into the apartment about 8:30 that night, and Doug gave me the grand tour. There were books, a desk, a spiral staircase, and piles and piles of other peoples' lives. I was to make this place my home.I remember sleeping on the leather couch that night, and the next morning I went for a walk. I walked down Ventura Boulevard and soaked in the sights. We were at the foot of the Hollywood hills, and the culture was quite different than Tennessee. I was also overwhelmed by the odd rocky California terrain. The sun was shining down a friendly warmth. The sky was so deeply blue that day. I spoke with my dad on the phone quite a while, trying to describe L.A. I was getting the picture that he had no idea. It's still nearly impossible to describe.
I remember standing on the Churro cart on CityWalk at Universal. The air was fresh and warm, and the crowds just didn't stop. I remember the saturday afternoon they had a birthday celebration for Shaquille O'Neil, and he waved to the crowd from a giant crane. Then, Ruben Studdard came out and sang happy birthday.
I'll never forget the faces and personalities that I befriended there. There was such a colorful and diverse array of people I encountered. I'll never forget visitng some Australian college girls down in Hollywood, along with some other people from work. Talk about weird. I'll probably never see any of those people for the rest of my life.
I'll never forget the fake Michael Jackson sighting I had up at Universal. I was so excited that it might really be him, but of course it was an impersonator.
The sights, the smells, the California sun are all fading memories to me now. I get occassional e-mails from friends I made there, but it's not the same. I'll never forget waking up every morning next to a window that looked out into a grundgy alley next to our apartment building.
I'll never forget Doug Jones, who brought encouragement and inspiration just by being a friend.
I may never gaze up at the Hollywood sign again, but the memories are going to stay in my mind forever. The friends, experiences, and bizarre encounters will ultimately reveal their purpose. I may never be Ted Danson, but the person I've become in the process is something no one can take away. As I drove away with California in my rearview mirror, I looked to the excitement over the next hill. I knew that fresh inspiration awaited me,...just a little while longer.
I'll never forget sharing financial woes with my friend Travis. He only lived a few minutes away in North Hollywood. We were both overwhelmed by our surroundings. He introduced me to the North Hollywood diner, and Shepherd of the Hills church. Travis has since moved back to Alabama, and I fully support him. We both dove into the L.A. experience blindly hoping to find a new life. We had the bar high, and our expectations unfulfilled. The day to day financial struggle proved to be ultimately too much, for both of us.
My friend Ward soldiers on in L.A., doing successful wardrobe work all over the country. His destiny still lies in tinsel town, for now.
My friend Doug Jones continues to work and live consistently as an actor. He told me in an e-mail, after I moved back, that if his job didn't require him to live in L.A., then he and his wife would have moved back to Indiana years ago.
My roommates Doug and Andy continue living the life of aspiring actors. Taking workshops, classes, and anything they can get their hands on, they continue to network and move forward.
As for me, my destiny was something different. I found my destiny in the open plains of New Mexico, rising from a flat brown earth. I found my destiny gazing out at the surreal Grand Canyon panorama. An elderly black man in an Arby's somewhere in Arkansas, asking for bus fare. The glitz and flash of Las Vegas; the open road; an empty motel room late at night. These are the places I've called home. My body rising and continuing my journey of life, I've found a home with my family, and old friends who welcome me with open arms. Moving into an unknown future, I take one step at a time, discovering what's in store. In the hills of East Tennessee, I find my place again. Like a puzzle piece going back to its proper place in the picture, my life is coming back together. There are things I will have to repair, and other things I'll have to adjust. But eventually, my life will take shape again. The blur of images from Hollywood will take their place in the background of my life, and each day will continue to bring change.
I am brought to a point of reflection on the last year of my life, and what it has meant to me. I'll never forget my first night in Studio City. I came into the apartment about 8:30 that night, and Doug gave me the grand tour. There were books, a desk, a spiral staircase, and piles and piles of other peoples' lives. I was to make this place my home.I remember sleeping on the leather couch that night, and the next morning I went for a walk. I walked down Ventura Boulevard and soaked in the sights. We were at the foot of the Hollywood hills, and the culture was quite different than Tennessee. I was also overwhelmed by the odd rocky California terrain. The sun was shining down a friendly warmth. The sky was so deeply blue that day. I spoke with my dad on the phone quite a while, trying to describe L.A. I was getting the picture that he had no idea. It's still nearly impossible to describe.
I remember standing on the Churro cart on CityWalk at Universal. The air was fresh and warm, and the crowds just didn't stop. I remember the saturday afternoon they had a birthday celebration for Shaquille O'Neil, and he waved to the crowd from a giant crane. Then, Ruben Studdard came out and sang happy birthday.
I'll never forget the faces and personalities that I befriended there. There was such a colorful and diverse array of people I encountered. I'll never forget visitng some Australian college girls down in Hollywood, along with some other people from work. Talk about weird. I'll probably never see any of those people for the rest of my life.
I'll never forget the fake Michael Jackson sighting I had up at Universal. I was so excited that it might really be him, but of course it was an impersonator.
The sights, the smells, the California sun are all fading memories to me now. I get occassional e-mails from friends I made there, but it's not the same. I'll never forget waking up every morning next to a window that looked out into a grundgy alley next to our apartment building.
I'll never forget Doug Jones, who brought encouragement and inspiration just by being a friend.
I may never gaze up at the Hollywood sign again, but the memories are going to stay in my mind forever. The friends, experiences, and bizarre encounters will ultimately reveal their purpose. I may never be Ted Danson, but the person I've become in the process is something no one can take away. As I drove away with California in my rearview mirror, I looked to the excitement over the next hill. I knew that fresh inspiration awaited me,...just a little while longer.
I'll never forget sharing financial woes with my friend Travis. He only lived a few minutes away in North Hollywood. We were both overwhelmed by our surroundings. He introduced me to the North Hollywood diner, and Shepherd of the Hills church. Travis has since moved back to Alabama, and I fully support him. We both dove into the L.A. experience blindly hoping to find a new life. We had the bar high, and our expectations unfulfilled. The day to day financial struggle proved to be ultimately too much, for both of us.
My friend Ward soldiers on in L.A., doing successful wardrobe work all over the country. His destiny still lies in tinsel town, for now.
My friend Doug Jones continues to work and live consistently as an actor. He told me in an e-mail, after I moved back, that if his job didn't require him to live in L.A., then he and his wife would have moved back to Indiana years ago.
My roommates Doug and Andy continue living the life of aspiring actors. Taking workshops, classes, and anything they can get their hands on, they continue to network and move forward.
As for me, my destiny was something different. I found my destiny in the open plains of New Mexico, rising from a flat brown earth. I found my destiny gazing out at the surreal Grand Canyon panorama. An elderly black man in an Arby's somewhere in Arkansas, asking for bus fare. The glitz and flash of Las Vegas; the open road; an empty motel room late at night. These are the places I've called home. My body rising and continuing my journey of life, I've found a home with my family, and old friends who welcome me with open arms. Moving into an unknown future, I take one step at a time, discovering what's in store. In the hills of East Tennessee, I find my place again. Like a puzzle piece going back to its proper place in the picture, my life is coming back together. There are things I will have to repair, and other things I'll have to adjust. But eventually, my life will take shape again. The blur of images from Hollywood will take their place in the background of my life, and each day will continue to bring change.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
most rad
I hereby put forth to you this important question:
Which of the following is the most rad?
1.album Bad - Michael Jackson
2.movie Harry and the Hendersons
3.sitcom Growing Pains
When you submit your answers in the comments, I will tally up the answers and determine the winner.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
morbid statue
Since I didn't have any pictures on here, I thought I'd give you this one. This is a rather morbid statue of some kind of elk being mauled by domestic dogs. I suppose everyone has their own taste in art.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Clint Eastwood
Last year, I saw Mystic River. If you're not familiar with it, it's a suspense/mystery directed by Clint Eastwood. Sean Penn won an Oscar for best Actor, and Tim Robbins won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. Both awards I totally agree with. I walked out of the theatre that cold rainy LA night almost numb with what I had just experienced. It's an incredible film. I was truly awed by Clint Eastwood's craftsmanship and artistry. Mystic River was also nominated for Best Picture, which I knew it wouldn't win. Not with Lord of the Rings in the running, anyway.
This year, Clint Eastwood directed, partly produced, and...,get this; he actually composed the music for a film called Million Dollar Baby. I saw this with some friends a few nights ago. There are similarities in the look and style between Million Dollar Baby and Mystic River. Clint Eastwood is the lead actor in Million Dollar Baby. Once again, his performance awed me with his talent. As a director, Clint Eastwood is emotional and reflective. Million Dollar Baby uses shading and darkness in interesting ways. It really pulls you into the story. Just like Hillary Swank's character in the film, Million Dollar Baby itself is a contender to be the champion. However, I think Ray will snuff it out. I would also guess that Jamie Foxx will win Best Actor for Ray before Clint Eastwood wins Best Actor for Million Dollar Baby. Foxx probably deserves it.
I would also like to say a word about Morgan Freeman in Million Dollar Baby. I have a special feeling about Alan Alda, but Morgan Freeman may also win Best Supporting Actor. It will be one of the two, hopefully. I love Morgan Freeman, and he is such a compelling actor. He's been nominated a handful of times before, but I really hope this is his year. Click here to check it out.
Hillary Swank is also my favorite contender for Best Actress for Million Dollar Baby.
All that being said, I also want to clarify that any Academy Award acknowledgement is subjective to a degree. It does mean a lot, but it's not everything. Even if Morgan Freeman doesn't win an Oscar, his performance is still incredible. Clint Eastwood is still a brilliant and crafty director with or without a little statue. Million Dollar Baby isn't perfect, but it's still a great film. Clint Eastwood has integrity as a director that I really admire.
Friday, February 11, 2005
soul poetry
rainbow clown
deep down behind that smile
crevise of that white red mouth
the glow of soul beyond children
laughter envokes sad images
we try to hide
by way of rainbow clown
try to tell me again
i didn't hear you that time
mouth movement
say it again
it's too loud in here
something important
something very important
closed eyes yield expression
wrinkled eyes
move shuffle
click and tap
movement
bam wooden floor
sing it sing it sing it
the square is white
the white square light
against the wall
night is late
and the place is full
of noise and body
mumble jumble noise voices make
smoke in the room
this place i'm told is really cool
and it's very loud and dark in here
shortcuts i'm taking
shortcut career mistake
made late at night
under my roof in a dirty bed
made with pillow and fluff nonsense
not quite not quite no not quite
no sense in answering the phone
just let it ring ring ring ring ring
no answering machine
no one ever answers our black phone
deep in the night the palm trees
palm tree against black sky
helicopter light noise
road is a city
hear the sirens some more
starbucks is open
coffee expensive trend glasses
make me mercedes dream with palm trees and coffee
make it happen make it happen make it happen
make me happen
so i can be legitimate
punch me sideways
make me love dogs
i know no one this side of the city
too many cars
too fast much noise road happening right now
too lonely
make it go now
deep down behind that smile
crevise of that white red mouth
the glow of soul beyond children
laughter envokes sad images
we try to hide
by way of rainbow clown
try to tell me again
i didn't hear you that time
mouth movement
say it again
it's too loud in here
something important
something very important
closed eyes yield expression
wrinkled eyes
move shuffle
click and tap
movement
bam wooden floor
sing it sing it sing it
the square is white
the white square light
against the wall
night is late
and the place is full
of noise and body
mumble jumble noise voices make
smoke in the room
this place i'm told is really cool
and it's very loud and dark in here
shortcuts i'm taking
shortcut career mistake
made late at night
under my roof in a dirty bed
made with pillow and fluff nonsense
not quite not quite no not quite
no sense in answering the phone
just let it ring ring ring ring ring
no answering machine
no one ever answers our black phone
deep in the night the palm trees
palm tree against black sky
helicopter light noise
road is a city
hear the sirens some more
starbucks is open
coffee expensive trend glasses
make me mercedes dream with palm trees and coffee
make it happen make it happen make it happen
make me happen
so i can be legitimate
punch me sideways
make me love dogs
i know no one this side of the city
too many cars
too fast much noise road happening right now
too lonely
make it go now
Thursday, February 10, 2005
homework
Sorry, folks, but this blog may require you to do some homework. If you're like me, you're done with school and you hate homework. However, this homework is fun. I was on imdb (international movie database) recently, and I started trying to compile a list of my favorite all-time movies. I love movies, so this was pretty much impossible. However, in the process, I was reminded of some old goodies that I would like to recommend to you. These are films that may be somewhat obscure, and maybe you missed them. Some you've probably seen some vague time in the past, but didn't pay much attention to. Well, I'd like to recommend these because they're interesting, somewhat overlooked, and because I love them so much.
Glengarry Glen Ross
What do you get when you cross playwright David Mamet with actors like Jack Lemon, Ed Harris, Al Pacino, Alen Arkin, Kevin Spacey, and Alec Baldwin? Great writing and wonderful acting. Those are the two elements that drew me to this movie. With an all-star cast like this, the movie pulls you in from the first minute.
The premise is, these washed up salesmen have to sell a certain amount of real estate in a certain amount of time, or they're fired. They work for the same floundering real estate company, and they're mostly past their prime. David Mamet has a good sense of these characters, so you really connect with them. I empathize with all of them and their individual state in life. You should check out this weird little movie with lots of drama, enthralling writing, and classic acting.
Ed Wood
Directed by Tim Burton, this is my favorite of his films. Starring Johnny Depp, Martin Landau, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Bill Murray, it also has an incredible cast. Martin Landau's performance as Bela Lagousi is one of my favorite all time performances in any movie. He won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for Ed Wood. Johnny Depp is great, too.
This is based on the true story of horrible filmmaker Ed Wood. Ed Wood has a fan club, and was rated "Worst Director of All Time". The movie, of course, is hilarious as it recounts his problems with making his dream movies in the 50's. It has some really funny moments. I don't want to be too specific, because I don't want to ruin it, or something. You should check this movie out. They just released a Special Edition DVD with lots of great behind-the-scenes extras and whatnot.
P.S. - It's in black and white, but that makes it strangely better.
The Straight Story
David Lynch directed this wonderful movie, also based on a true story. This movie makes me cry just about every time. There's a certain life that Richard Farnsworth gives to his character, Alvin Straight. It's an ancient wisdom mixed with human frailty that gives this character so much depth. It's no wonder that Richard Farnsworth was nominated for best actor for an Academy Award. It's one of my favorite performances, and favorite characters of any movie.
When Alvin Straight's brother has to go to the hospital for serious health problems, Alvin wants to go visit him. There are a few problems with this: they haven't spoken in nearly ten years. A feud they had when they were younger has kept them apart. And, Alvin is too old to drive. So, what's the solution? He stubbornly resolves to get to his brother, hundreds of miles away, by driving a lawn mower. It's touching, and wrenching at times. It's a beautiful story, full of love.
Well, those are my recommendations for now. Write in, and let me know how they change your life. I may write some horror recommendations, even though I know there's no demand for it at all! Thanks for reading.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
audition 101
Maybe you've heard of craigslist.org. It's a web site dedicated to trading and selling goods. It's similar to Ebay in that regard, but it is much more grassroots. It is localized to particular cities. For example, if I wanted to buy a couch, I could go on there and find one in my area.
After being in Hollywood for a few months, I found out about an open call audition in Burbank on craigslist. I didn't have headshots at the time, but I decided it was worth the experience. The ad described this television show as a "VH-1 style" movie critic commentary show. The cast would comment on the latest movies and describe the good/bad of the film in funny ways. It required improvisational skills, but no monolouge was required.
So, I drove to the address in Burbank saturday morning. It was a giant office building, and I had no idea what kind of environment this was going to be. I parked, walked into the bizarre lobby of this place, and took the elevator up to the fifth floor. When the door opened on the fifth floor, the circus began. There was a hallway of what looked like some type of hotel, filled with every kind of person imaginable. There were latinos, african americans, white folks, asian, every race. Old people, young people, men, women, boys and girls. All shapes and sizes. I went up to this desk, and they told me to sign in. I had to fill out this really long form, and they told me to go to the back of the line. I walked down the hall, and around the corner. When I rounded the corner to the right, there was another, LONGER, hallway of people all the way down. After stepping over legs and feet asking people to excuse me, I made another right turn and an equally long hallway. The end of the line was all the way at the end of the hall. There were hundreds of people at this random audition, and there was talk that the wait could be three to four hours. I walked to the end, sat down, and began filling out my form.
The questions on the form were about my favorite actors, favorite 80's movies, and pop culture in general. Soon after completing this survey, I sat and watched as people continued to show up, lining the other side of the wall.
After ten or fifteen apprehensive minutes of sitting in this bizarre hallway, three young men emerged from a door right next to me. They began looking around with clipboards, and pointing people out. "Okay, you. Okay, you. Okay, you." Of course, they picked me out of the crowd.
So, I followed these three young men along with five or six other picks from the hallway. It looked as if they had picked people that might actually have a shot at the show. We were all young, and VERY good looking. I shock myself sometimes when I look in the mirror.
These men took us into this office, where they then began interviewing us one at a time. One man did stand-up, one woman had been an anchorwoman in some random city in Utah, or Nevada, or somewhere. One young african american gentlemen, upon being asked why he wanted to audition, replied, "Look, man...I'm an actor out here in L.A. I really need the money, man. I really just need money."
Thank you, sir. We'll be in touch.
Then, they interviewed me last. I told them I was taking classes at the Groundlings, but I didn't have headshots yet. They seemed to like me.
The three young men then took us all, minus the one african american gentlemen, of course, into another "holding cell." We had somehow gained the privelage of being able to skip the three hour wait by being randomly hand-picked according to our age. What a relief.
I struck up conversation with a couple of the people in our little group. They were incredibly friendly, and optimistic about this whole thing.
We were then herded into the main audition. There was a camera, a blaring light, and a long table with a panel of people watching us. There were already about twenty people in the middle of their audition. We crowded around the wall as each person was called upon individually to perform the movie monolouge they had been asked to prepare. Of course. And, they were asked to do any celebrity impressions. I, of course, had no movie monolouge prepared.
EXCEPT for my YEARS of ACE VENTURA LOVE! I performed a scene from Ace Ventura, when his landlord asks him about animals in the house. Despite being totally unprepared, the quirky little performance earned genuine laughs from the panel. It felt great. Then, they asked me to debate with this woman about why I thought "Gigli" was so bad. I made some comments about Ben Affleck's hair. Then, they were like, "Thank you everyone. We'll be in touch."
A couple of weeks later, I got a message on my cell phone.
"Hi. This is [Gerard] Thomas, and I see here that you auditioned for the 'Critic's Corner' tv pilot."
Oh wow! A response! I knew the audition went well! Maybe...
"I also see that you didn't have a professional headshot. If you would like to get headshots, I'm a professional photographer. These headshots are only $250 for the whole package. If you're interested, give me a call at..."
So much for that.
After being in Hollywood for a few months, I found out about an open call audition in Burbank on craigslist. I didn't have headshots at the time, but I decided it was worth the experience. The ad described this television show as a "VH-1 style" movie critic commentary show. The cast would comment on the latest movies and describe the good/bad of the film in funny ways. It required improvisational skills, but no monolouge was required.
So, I drove to the address in Burbank saturday morning. It was a giant office building, and I had no idea what kind of environment this was going to be. I parked, walked into the bizarre lobby of this place, and took the elevator up to the fifth floor. When the door opened on the fifth floor, the circus began. There was a hallway of what looked like some type of hotel, filled with every kind of person imaginable. There were latinos, african americans, white folks, asian, every race. Old people, young people, men, women, boys and girls. All shapes and sizes. I went up to this desk, and they told me to sign in. I had to fill out this really long form, and they told me to go to the back of the line. I walked down the hall, and around the corner. When I rounded the corner to the right, there was another, LONGER, hallway of people all the way down. After stepping over legs and feet asking people to excuse me, I made another right turn and an equally long hallway. The end of the line was all the way at the end of the hall. There were hundreds of people at this random audition, and there was talk that the wait could be three to four hours. I walked to the end, sat down, and began filling out my form.
The questions on the form were about my favorite actors, favorite 80's movies, and pop culture in general. Soon after completing this survey, I sat and watched as people continued to show up, lining the other side of the wall.
After ten or fifteen apprehensive minutes of sitting in this bizarre hallway, three young men emerged from a door right next to me. They began looking around with clipboards, and pointing people out. "Okay, you. Okay, you. Okay, you." Of course, they picked me out of the crowd.
So, I followed these three young men along with five or six other picks from the hallway. It looked as if they had picked people that might actually have a shot at the show. We were all young, and VERY good looking. I shock myself sometimes when I look in the mirror.
These men took us into this office, where they then began interviewing us one at a time. One man did stand-up, one woman had been an anchorwoman in some random city in Utah, or Nevada, or somewhere. One young african american gentlemen, upon being asked why he wanted to audition, replied, "Look, man...I'm an actor out here in L.A. I really need the money, man. I really just need money."
Thank you, sir. We'll be in touch.
Then, they interviewed me last. I told them I was taking classes at the Groundlings, but I didn't have headshots yet. They seemed to like me.
The three young men then took us all, minus the one african american gentlemen, of course, into another "holding cell." We had somehow gained the privelage of being able to skip the three hour wait by being randomly hand-picked according to our age. What a relief.
I struck up conversation with a couple of the people in our little group. They were incredibly friendly, and optimistic about this whole thing.
We were then herded into the main audition. There was a camera, a blaring light, and a long table with a panel of people watching us. There were already about twenty people in the middle of their audition. We crowded around the wall as each person was called upon individually to perform the movie monolouge they had been asked to prepare. Of course. And, they were asked to do any celebrity impressions. I, of course, had no movie monolouge prepared.
EXCEPT for my YEARS of ACE VENTURA LOVE! I performed a scene from Ace Ventura, when his landlord asks him about animals in the house. Despite being totally unprepared, the quirky little performance earned genuine laughs from the panel. It felt great. Then, they asked me to debate with this woman about why I thought "Gigli" was so bad. I made some comments about Ben Affleck's hair. Then, they were like, "Thank you everyone. We'll be in touch."
A couple of weeks later, I got a message on my cell phone.
"Hi. This is [Gerard] Thomas, and I see here that you auditioned for the 'Critic's Corner' tv pilot."
Oh wow! A response! I knew the audition went well! Maybe...
"I also see that you didn't have a professional headshot. If you would like to get headshots, I'm a professional photographer. These headshots are only $250 for the whole package. If you're interested, give me a call at..."
So much for that.
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