This late afternoon, I go off to my retail job. Then, I close up shop, and I have to be back there in the morning. Crazy hours. So, 24 hours from now I'll be able to come home and take a rest. It's strange.
I don't know if this job is a good thing or not. It keeps me minimally productive, while bringing in a little money. Yet, when I get home at the end of the day, I come home to a house full of empty questions. There are no answers offered throughout the day. It is a means of existence. I don't know if it really changes when a career starts. I don't know if anyone can honestly say, "Oh, don't worry, it gets better." Aren't we all always existing in an in-between place? It's that in-between place where you're vaguely waiting for the future, while trying to hold the present together. Making ends meet, fulfilling duty. Is there any answer beyond this career existence? Is that my contribution to society? That's it? What a rip off.
Listen to my audio post about In Good Company below.
1 comment:
i know the feeling, evan. i always question whether what i am doing is really making any kind of difference in anyone's life... or whether my life is making any kind of impact whatsoever. But, I guess for the time being all we can do is believe.
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